The Downfalls of Being Little

I'm little. When I say I'm 5'1", I'm being very generous. Combine that with being young at heart, and my respect level among the next generation of my family goes flying out the window. I get tackled, wrestled to the ground, jumped on and picked on by the children that are supposed to see me as an authority figure. I have 7 nieces and nephews ranging from 12 to 1. Other than maybe the babies, those children truthfully believe that I am one of the kids. The big boys graduated to the adult table this year at Christmas. They were so excited to get away from the smaller kids, listen to adult conversation, and stop eating off of a plastic plate for the holiday. When the oldest was acting up, and my sister who they wouldn't even dream of stepping out of line in front of said "Devin your the oldest kid at the table and your the only one acting up" my other nephew shouts out as if he were on a game show with the winning answer..."No Re-Re..Colly's the oldest kid at the table!". That same evening a button literally got ripped off my shirt when I was on the very bottom of the pile of 8 children. I thought I was going to puke. I'm famous for my touchdown dances....and then there was last year when the Christmas tree stand dude tied the doors to my car shut and the 2 oldest boys had to pull me through the window of the car in the parking lot of my apartments-that was good times right there. Hence....the fact that I am a 34 year old adult seems to go un-noticed. Yesterday the respect factor hit an all time low when I heard a pounding on my door, and when I opened it, I saw the full moon of my oldest nephew. Yes, he mooned me. I give up. It would be a cold day in hell before he would EVER do that to my oldest sister. He knows he wouldn't live to tell the story anyway. I've been told by my 5 year old nephew that I'm cheap, and he's sick of me because he keeps asking me to take him on a date. The first thing the girls do when they come over is fight over who's getting which shoes when I'm done with them. The 2 oldest boys have surpassed me in height, and weight. I have been thrown over their shoulder, thrown in the pool, pegged with footballs, baseballs....I had to seek some type of revenge. The other day when the eldest was playing outside with his friends, I found a baby picture of the worlds fattest baby, which is him, and brought it out there to show everyone. He was humiliated, and I loved every minute of it! I think the only way to salvage my dignity would be to mature and act my age.....I can't bring myself to do it. I'm having much to much fun...