Monday, March 31, 2008

And so it begins.....


I knew it was inevitable, I just didn't know it would happen this fast. You are looking at my sons very first Go Kart, as long as Papa wins the bid on EBay. It is actually for 3-6 year olds, but Alex says if he's too short to reach the pedals, he will teach him some fundamentals for now and some mechanics. Teach him about the Kart itself. OH BOY. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this racing stuff, but I knew since we saw the sonogram and it was a boy, that this was the way it was going to go down. Luckily, my son was born to drive. He wants to drive anything and everything. When we were leaving church yesterday, first he wanted to drive the "moving truck" that Elevation Church transports their equipment in. Then he wanted to drive the school buses in the parking lot. Not one trip to my car does he not ask....Can I drive Mom? Even though I say no every single time, he asks in hopes for one fine day that I will say "YES, YOU CAN DRIVE SON." He wants to drive the fire sprinkler valve that is connected to the wall outside of the grocery store. Can you believe? You can not fathom the arguments over driving that I have had with my son. When he sees this Go Kart, and finds out that it's his....he's going to FLIP HIS LID. Right now he has a go kart that Papa got at Toys r' Us that is battery operated, and rather than a pedal, it is a button on the steering wheel. I've seen him cruise through Alex's house on that thing...maneuvering and cutting corners! He also rides it out in the street, and all Alex has to do is yell..."Turn!...Straighten the wheel!....." and he is a natural pro-he really is. Even on his bicycle, he goes around my house and makes turns, and cuts corners, and he never bangs into anything. I guess driving is his "gift". It's a scary gift for a Mommy though...don't cha think?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Get Your Tickets TOMORROW for the GREATEST BAND EVER!





Yes, it's that time. Dave will be here Tuesday July 1st to ROCK Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre. This is my absolute favorite band of all time. What a line up of true musicians. If you have never seen them, please do. You will sit in amazement. The amount of fire on that stage is unreal. The instruments stretch from one side of the stage to the other. I have seen them I believe 5 times if memory serves, including Central Park, NYC. I can't get my tickets right now, but you better believe some how, some way, I WILL be sitting at the amphitheatre on Tuesday July 1st. Even if I have to get a lawn seat. It's all good.

The Dave Matthews Band formed in Charlottesville, Virginia, in early 1991, when vocalist/guitarist Dave Matthews decided to put some songs he had written on tape. Instead of simply recording himself with a guitar, he opted to bring in some instrumental help to give his musical ideas more depth. Dave found assistance in drummer Carter Beauford and saxophonist LeRoi Moore, who were both accomplished jazz musicians in the local Charlottesville music scene. Based on the recommendation of distinguished local jazz guru John D’earth, 16-year-old musical prodigy Stefan Lessard came on board to play bass. Completing the band was keyboard player Peter Griesar, who left the band after a couple of years, as well as the talented and classically trained violinist, Boyd Tinsley.
The first public performance of Dave Matthews Band occurred at the City of Charlottesville’s Earth Day Festival in April 1991. The first official gig for the newly conceived Dave Matthews Band was May 11, 1991, at a private party held on the rooftop of the pink warehouse on South Street in downtown Charlottesville. Local weekly gigs soon followed at Eastern Standard and then Trax nightclub, and within a little time, word of the band’s contagious new sound spread like wildfire throughout the region. Clubs started to fill up, tours began to cover more territory, and the fan base grew at an incredible rate.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Modifiers

I love all of you, and I used to be one myself. Some of my nearest and dearest are the most finicky eaters that I know. This can't touch this on the plate, I'll eat a grilled cheese, but I won't eat cheese on a hamburger(you know who you are too) I love tomato sauce, but hate tomatoes (and you know who you are too....and they are married). Big Alex is the BIGGEST modifier I have ever met in my life-but yet he loves to go out to eat. He's such a modifier that when he would order his food, I felt awkward. He's so bad that he doesn't even modify. He's a...."I will have the blah blah blah with ONLY....". What makes me laugh the most is when modifiers say that the dish they are eating lacks something, or it sucks. Well.....DUH. You left out half of the ingredients that make up the flavor of the dish! We sell dishes at the restaurant that we are specifically taught..."If they leave this, that and that off, encourage them to pick another dish." Or how about the "On the siders". Like Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally". I'll have the Cobb salad but I want the avocado on the side and I want the egg on the side and I do not want the chicken........HEY GUESS WHAT? THEN YOU DON'T WANT A COBB SALAD YOU WANT A BOWL OF LETTUCE. I eat just about anything, unless it's consistency can be construed as "chewy". I was never this way. I recall many "Cheese sandwich dinners" when my father would cook his favorite Irish dishes. I never liked seafood. My mother used to make veal and lie to us and say it was chicken to get us to eat it. I don't know what happened, but it's like when I gave birth to Amber, when I wasn't looking, the doctor installed new taste buds in my mouth. I never modify. If I don't like more than one thing in the dish-I don't get it. But 9 out of 10, I'll eat anything. Like a man too. My sisters says she has never seen such a little person stuff so much food into their little body. I am NEVER that woman that goes out to eat, and orders a salad. I do eat whatever I want for the most part, and I eat it all the way. Slop it on there. When people ask..."Would you like mustard, ketchup or mayo on your burger?" my reply is "Yes." But I notice this passes down to your children as well. My kids eat ALL vegetables, all fruit, shrimp, lobster, pork, poultry, beef.....you name it, they eat it. My son rolls up his soft taco supreme, and goes at it. You have to see my daughter eat a fried pork chop ON THE BONE. I don't even really like those. Another "Mom used to make" dish. As I said, I know a whole lot of modifiers/picky eaters, and as a reformed picky eater, I got nuttin' but luv fo' ya.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hollywood DUI'S


Add Richie Sambora to the list. And his mug shot-WOOF! Horrific. Here's my question to all........if your rolling in the dough-WHERE THE HECK IS YOUR CHAUFFEUR???? Hello McFly! Anybody home? I know if I had any kind of substantial money-a driver would be on the top of my list. Not for drinking purposes, I'm just not a big fan of driving. I once tried to drive to New York from here. I got to Greensboro and turned around and came back home. The thought of that drive hurts my feelings. If there is another licensed driver in my car, I hand them the keys. I would rather just be a happy passenger. Have my usual great conversations with myself in my head-enjoy the scenery-you know how it goes. I'm not even talking a limo here people, I'm saying hire a person to drive your car for you. Hey, call a car service to come get you if you are drinking. Is this hard? Is it me, or is there NO reason for this? Wouldn't they rather hop in the yellow cab than have THIS photo spread out all over the world, take the chance of hurting someone-or worse, having the media down your throat, and publicly humiliating yourself? This seems like a no brainer to me. FAMOUS+MONEY+DRINKING+DRIVING=CHAUFFEUR. Seems like a simplistic formula to me.
P.S.-Drinking and driving is unacceptable whether your rich, middle class, or poor. It doesn't matter who you are.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

DisConnected

I feel disconnected from everything and everyone right now. It's quite a strange feeling. I am working so much that I feel like I am less than mediocre at everything else right now. I know my kids are missing me. We had a very busy weekend-with no "bum out time". When I dropped my son off at church-he cried like a lunatic. He never does that. He cried like a mad man at school today too. The worst feeling is when I am going to work and he looks at me and says.."Don't go Mama.". or "I wanna go with you Mama.". I feel disconnected from my home and my house work because I am either too busy, or too tired to do it. I take pride in keeping my home nice, neat, clean and organized, and I want to set that example for my children so it spills into their adult life. I am not "up to par" right now. Not my par anyway. I feel disconnected from my extended family, because I haven't had much "phone time". It's time to reconnect. Once I get off of work on Friday afternoon, I will be OFF until Monday morning, and I have NO PLANS. I intend to keep it that way. I am going to stay in my pajama pants for as long as I possibly can. I'm going to play with my kids. I'm going to cook our favorite meals for 3 nights straight. I'm going to clean when my son is sleeping. I'm going to sing into my hair brush with Amber. I'm going to talk to my mutha for an hour on the phone. I am going to play with Alex's race track with him, and go work out with Amber because she loves when we do that. Can I admit that I took Amber to the movies to spend some one on one time with her last week and I was so exhausted that I was a human bobble head in the movie theater? That's awful. It's time to slow down...and reconnect. Fo'Sho'.

Old Navy ALERT!

I am not a big fan of Old Navy clothes for women. I do love it for my kids. For me, casuals, jeans, layering tank tops pj's....but that's about it. You HAVE to go to Old Navy RIGHT NOW with some LOOT and check out this line that just came out. One thing nicer than the next. CUTE summer tops, and long dresses, and I believe they are having a 40% off sale right now!!!! I'm sure it won't last long, so go check it out! I'm off to work but promise to blog about something more meaningful tonight. Peace.....

Monday, March 24, 2008

FeedBack



So...it's almost that time. Crew Cut time. No fuss...no bed head....no swimming pool head....no sweaty head...no product...yes-I put product in my sons hair. I wanted to get him a mowhawk when I got his hair cut on Saturday, because he gets hair cut so often that he could have had it for just a few weeks and then gone back to his regular cut. I was forbidden by Daddy. His crew cut is bitter sweet for me. I love it, but I miss his hair at the same time. But I can still feel the feeling I felt when I saw him with his crew cut for the first time. Daddy does it, so it is an exciting suprise for me. I never know when it will be FRESH. What do you think? Do you like the crew cut?

To Mommy....

This was on the fridge:

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I wouldn't trade
A million dollars for you

By: Amber Delemo

I was probably the worstest meanest Mommy 15 minutes later. Little girls...MAN....tough age. ;0)

Friday, March 21, 2008

Pearl Jam Hits the Road


Pearl Jam announced today a ten day East Coast tour, which begins June 11th in West Palm Beach, FL and wraps up June 30th in Mansfield, MA.
I did love me some Pearl Jam back in the day, and I have seen them once. In my open flannel with my t-shirt and Doc Martins-of course. Eddie Vedder is a strange bird-but aren't we all in our own way? Columbia South Carolina is the closest they will get to us. Some of my Pearl Jam favorites:
Porch
Last Kiss
Release
Yellow Ledbetter
Once
Why Go
Oceans

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Too Much of a Good Thing Isn't always so Good

Okay. How do I go about this post without sounding like a mad woman. I'm just going to tell it like it is. I am beyond the norm of protecting my children. My children are 10 and 2, and they have never once been left with a "babysitter". Not one time. If I leave my kids-they are left with someone that has the same blood as they do running through their veins. Alex does go to school, but it is an institution that is held accountable for it's actions, and never on a one on one basis, it's a classroom setting. When it was time for Amber to go to preschool-I got a job at the preschool. When it is a day for a field trip, guess who is on the bus, or who is driving in the car next to the bus with my child in the car? Would you send your daughter to the Bronx Zoo in someone else's care? My kids have never taken the school bus. I put Amber on the bus once, and she didn't get home until 5pm. NEVER AGAIN. When I joined my church, I also got a volunteer position...in guess who's room? When Amber wants to go home with her friend after school for a play date, and her friend is a walker-I pick her up first, and bring her there. I'm not ready for her to walk the streets without an adult. I would LOVE to raise my kids and have them think that the world is full of Love, Peace and Hair Grease, but as Dr. Phil would say....LET'S GET REAL. I quiz my daughter on a regular basis. I drill her every time she walks out of the house so much, that when she is walking out the door and I call her name-she says...."I know Mom, I know...be aware of my surroundings, listen for strange sounds, look for suspicious people, stay with a buddy at all times...you tell me the same thing every time Mom." She knows all about how people try to lure kids into their cars with candy, or a puppy, or saying that I sent them to pick her up. Then there's the "private parts" talk. "These are your private parts-nobody touches your private parts. It could be anyone...teacher, doctor, relatives, friends, whoever.....if something makes you uncomfortable-then it's WRONG." I've told her about predators on the computer because she is starting (against my better judgement) to go on the computer to play webkins-but she is still being exposed to the computer. I tell them "If anyone ever tries to take you-kick, scream, yell, bite, hoot and holla because if they get you away from where you are to another destination, chances are you will not be coming home." I've gone as far as to tell Amber to kick a man in the jewels if need be. Sounds very rough as I write it, but I do this for 2 reasons:

1. I need to know that if God Forbid anything ever happens to one of my children, that I did my very best at making them aware, and teaching them how to protect themselves.

2. If anyone ever harms a hair on either one of my children's heads, I will be in prison until my dying day. And that's no joke.

Here comes the catch 22-Amber is now afraid of her own shadow. She hears voices when there are none. She gets out of bed at least twice before she falls asleep to make sure the doors are locked. She hates to sleep alone. If she thought her closet door was open, and now it's shut, she is ready to call CSI. She doesn't like to go upstairs in my sisters house in broad daylight without a chaperon. Her house is very grand-way to grand for Amber. At her Dads, she had the whole upstairs to herself. Picture this-A bedroom, living room, kitchenette, and a bathroom. He got her a desk, a couch, the whole nine yards-imagine that at 9? Guess what-she HATED it. She has squeezed him to move her back downstairs so she can be close to him and Alex at night. There are small doors that lead into the attic up there that freak her out. Do you see what I have done to my daughter? It sounds so much worse as I am typing it than it does when I am doing it. These are my kids. They are my life. I feel it is my job to protect them-but not at their expense of being able to live life without constantly looking over their shoulders. I over did it. One of my failures as a parent. Too much of a Good Thing isn't always so Good.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Easter

As we approach Easter Sunday, I just wanted to say that although the Easter Bunny, coloring eggs, and egg hunting is fun and exciting, lets not lose sight of what Easter is all about-Jesus. Whether you honor him every Sunday and incorporate him into your everyday life, or whether you just think about him from time to time-this Sunday is not about big bunnies and Paas and finally being able to eat what you gave up for lent-it's about Jesus, and the ultimate sacrifice. I went to a conference this past Thursday with my Church to New Spring Church in Alderson, S.C., and they put what I am assuming is a movie up on the screens of Jesus being brutally beaten, bloody and battered, and being hung on the cross. They showed the nails, being driven into his hands. It really gripped me. It really moved me. It really upset me-to tears. Don't take Him for granted. Give him the praise that He so deserves. When your desperate, and you need something, He is the first person you run to. When you want to blame somebody-you run to Him too. How about taking some time to reflect on the good He has done for all of us. Without Him, we wouldn't exist. Teach your children about God instead of them rushing to see what kind of candy the oversized bunny brought them. Pastor Steven says there is a generation growing up that does not know the Lord, and he is right. Make the difference. Teach your children well.

I bought a great children's Resurrection kit in the Family Christian Store . It is a set of 12 colorful plastic eggs and in each egg contains a small symbol that conveys the message of Easter to children in a tangible way, and it comes with an instruction booklet containing bible stories. It was only $12.97. These little stepping stones will help them enjoy learning about God. A very wise investment for you children, and their future. Yes, we will be coloring eggs-of course-and my brother has the best Easter egg hunt that Charlotte has ever seen-I'm just saying remember what we are celebrating. Were celebrating our freedom. Given by Gods Grace.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

A State of Mind

As I sit here at 1:40am, with sore feet and heavy eyes, I am going to back track to this morning. I woke up "Mellon-Colly". I write it that way because my whole family calls me Colly. So, Colly was Mellon this morning. I don't have these days very often, but I do have them. Not over anything particular, I just felt "Mushatha". I didn't go to the Saint Paddy's Day parade because the Weather Man's educated guess was wrong as usual, and I was bummed about that because it didn't rain until much later than expected, so we could've gone. I worked at the Cheesecake Factory tonight-hence-that's why I'm still awake. I didn't want to go. I was dreading it. Saturday night there is brutal. We are on a 2 hour wait until 11pm. I contemplated giving away my shift, but I needed the cashola. So I went. If you've never waited tables, you may not be able to relate, but your demeanor and "State of Mine" can make or brake your shift, or should I say your wallet. You walk in not wanting to be there, and I promise you, your money will reflect just that. As I drove there, I was talking to God out loud about a bunch of different things. I was praying for my kids, and a few other things, and it made me feel better...and the State of Mind started to shift. By the time I got there, I was ready to get into the groove. The night could not have turned out better. Shortly after I got there, The North Carolina Tarheels team came in. The whole team. The younger girls were all giddy...wanting to go ask for autographs, but they were too embarrassed. I'm old, and I wasn't impressed, so I found no shame in passing around paper and having 14 of the players give me autographs for Roberts son. The Tarheels are his favorite team. He's going to be so excited. I am going to frame them for him. Then the rest of the night was smooth sailing the whole time. My last table was the worst one of the night, but by then, I was too tired to care. After all was said and done, I did the math and I wound up making $27.00+ an hour cash money honey. I am tickled pink.

The 2 Morals of the Story:

1) The "State of Mind" is what cause me to have a great night, not the money. Without the change of the State of Mind, I never would have made the money.
2) Never under estimate the earnings of a server. They could be pulling in a third of your weekly paycheck in one night!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Madonna Louise Ciccone-Induction into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame-March 10th, 2008







You may love her, you may hate her. She's controversial, she's got Ba**s of steel, she takes risks, she's offensive, she's ruthless, tasteless, talented, driven, at times a fashion Icon(God help us, you know you wore those lace gloves, and kids still wear skirts over leggings!) and the list goes on and on. I've heard people praise her, I've heard people rip here apart, but there will always be that one thing that you can't take away from her. She's Madonna.



Albums:
"Madonna"-1982
Like A Virgin-1985
True Blue-1986
You Can Dance-1988(remix album)
Like A Prayer-1989
1990-The Immaculate Collection
Erotica-1992
Bedtime Stories-1994
Something to Remember-1995
Ray of Light -1998
Music-2000
American Life-2003
Confession on the dance floor-2005
Hard Candy-due 4/2008

I couldn't possibly list all of her accomplishments on my blog. When I printed out her Biography, it was 22 pages. She's had decades of both success and failure. Decades of horrific scrutiny, and praise. Love her or leave her-no matter what happens, she keeps coming back for more. She's tough as nails. She never quits. You Go Girl. Good luck on judgement day. LOL.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Check Engine Light

The check engine light on my truck has a mind of it's own. It comes on and goes off as it pleases. I know there's nothing wrong with my car. How do I know you ask? BECAUSE MY CAR IS INVINCIBLE AND NOTHING IS EVER EVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO IT NEVER EVER NEVER. Feeewww....so I needed an inspection in January, and the check engine light has been on since then. It was off in December, and I thought-I should go get the inspection now-it never turned out to be anything more than a thought. So, since January it has gone off here and there, and I never had enough time, or I was on my way to work....so I have been driving, needing an inspection since January 31st. That's terrible-I KNOW. I went once, to see why it would obviously fail inspection, and get it fixed if need be. The truck wouldn't even register with the computer, and they thought I should go get a diagnostic to see what the problem was. I would possibly have to go to the dealer. You know what that means right? It's all about the Benjamin's baby. I put it off. The cheapo in me decided to take my chances, and wait for the light to go off. It went off yesterday on my way to get Amber from school!!! I went STRAIGHT to get an inspection, and IT PASSED!! Yeah! And guess who came back to see me today on my way to get Amber from school? Good old faithful check engine light! I beat you this time!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Strange Question....

I just went to the post office, and the man behind the counter asked me......"Are you white?"

What kind of question is that? The craziest thing...people ask me that, in many forms, all the time. Are you Puerto Rican? Spanish? Jewish? Latino? I've heard it all. I guess my 50% of Irish blood would shock them all. I just think asking someone..."What is your Nationality?" Would be so much more appropriate. Don't you?

Bad Singing Runs in the Family

OK, I can't sing, Neither can Amber, but we both love to sing. You would never want to be in the car with the 2 of us when a good song comes on. Let's see....some of our faves are..Mr. Brightside, Love Song, Bubbly, Just fine,(Mary J) Beautiful Girls....the list goes on and on. We SUCK too. Bad. She now sings all around the house, all night long. I can't take it anymore. If I say "Alex is starving!"she comes back with the singing version..."Aleeeeexxxx is staaaaarving". I tell her the truth too. I also tell her to "Give her mouth a rest". Did you know that's a very nice way to say shut up? Gotta keep it real. "The Lord didn't give you a good set of pipes baby, so lets move on to something else." My Mom asks her...."What did you do with the money I gave you for singing lessons?" Yeah, I know, tough love. That's just the way we are. Love us or leave us. My very favorite song to sing is "Over My Head" by the Fray. Whenever I sing, you know what Robert says to me? "Baby, don't do that again." or "You sound like a Donkey". Yesterday I called him and sang into the answering machine. He said he is going to save it for blackmail. Well I guess last night he couldn't take it any longer....I was singing... A capella-of course....and he said...."That's terrible baby." So I said "That's GOOD!"(kidding of course), and he finally said it......it finally came out...."That SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" How rude. Just for that I will be singing to him on a regular basis from now on. I bet he can't wait.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Love Knows No Color...But Cake Does!





Those are my beautiful nephews. They are my sister Patti's 2 oldest children, Devin on the right, and Isaiah on the left. Also pictured is my Mom, and Amber. They are actually her three oldest of nine grandchildren. Then came Mackenzie, Danielle, Joseph, Noah, Alex, and last but not least, Logan. My mother is the proudest Grandmother ever. One of her grandchildren could run someone over with a car, and she would conjure up the best reason she could to excuse their behavior. Tonight we had a birthday cake for the 2 big boys pictured here. The big 13, and 12. After the boys, my sister got married and had the three smaller kids with her husband, who has also been a father to the boys since they were 2 and 3. Therefore, Devin is the only bi-racial child in the family. He never knew that, or even realized it. Although my mother looks pail in this photo, she is a very dark skinned Italian woman, so Devin always used to say...."No one else in our family is brown, except for me and Nana". My mother would follow up with..."That's right Baby, that's right." Of course he's older and wiser now, and knows the whole deal. So after lunch, dinner, board games, football, and bowling on the Wii, because my sister Marie is the best host on the face of the earth and had a day long birthday celebration for the boys, it was time for cake. My sister very innocently made a sheet cake, and trying to accommodate everyone, she iced half of it vanilla, and half of it chocolate. Do you get the funniness in this? It's the 2 boys birthday's, one is "brown" and one is white, and she took the cover off the cake, and we see a half brown half white cake. I don't know if you find the humor in this, but we were all dying laughing over this...Devin...who is very funny....was like..."Why does it have to be a black/white thing? Oh, so it's like that huh?" We were already all pumped up after my brother pulled the chair out from Devin when he went to sit down as payback because he had done the same thing to him over the summer, so this just added to the adrenalin that already filled the house. Then she innocently cut the cake right down the middle, separating the colors-so that turned in to..."Why did you have to cut the cake like that? Why didn't you cut it horizontally instead?" We were all hysterical at this point, even my sister. If she wasn't the best host in the world and just made whatever kind of cake that she felt like making, we wouldn't have gotten this big laugh. Thanks Re-Re for always going over the top. You gave us a good laugh tonight.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Misheard Lyrics-STUPID FUNNY!!

This cracks me up. The first few I knew myself, and then I had to do a little research for the rest. I have been singing songs in their entirety since I was too small to go to school. My father used to always say as I got older....."I wish you knew your school work like you know music". Okay, you ready? here we go.....

Tiny Dancer-Sir Elton John

The real lyrics-Hold me Closer Tiny Dancer
Misheard lyrics-Hold me Closer Tony Danza

Jimi Hendrix

The real lyrics-Excuse me, while I kiss the sky
Misheard lyrics-Excuse me, while I kiss this guy

Credence Clearwater Revival

The real lyrics-There's a bad moon, on the rise
Misheard lyrics-There's a bathroom, on the right

Sir Elton John-Someone saved my life tonight

The real lyrics-Someone saved my life tonight
Misheard lyrics-Someone shaved my wife tonight

Manfred Mann-Blinded by the light

The real lyrics-Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night
Misheard lyrics-Rapped up like a douche, another runner in the night

Prince-Little Red Corvette

The real lyrics-Little Red Corvette
Misheard lyrics-Feel the rent coming

Queen-Bohemian Rhapsody

The real Lyrics-Spare him his life from his monstrosity
Misheard lyrics-Saving his life from his warm sausage tea

Metallica-One

The real lyrics-Tied to machines that make me be
Misheard lyrics-Tied to machines that make me PEE

Led Zepplin-Stairway To Heaven

The real lyrics-And as we wind on down the road
Misheard lyrics-There's a wino down the road

Green Day-Time of Your Life

The real lyrics-Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Misheard lyrics-Another turnip boy, the Ford stuck in the road


Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Consistency is the Key

This is definitely an area where I could improve. I am not very consistent when it comes to certain things. Dinner doesn't happen at the same time every night. Neither does bed time. I attribute this to my "free spirit-ism". I do not punch a clock for anything, or anyone. Just ask any boss that I have ever had, all of my family members, and my friends. I am not a predictable person in any way shape or form. I do not want an "itinerary" when I go on vacation. I can't plan ahead what I want to eat for dinner for the week, because how do you know if you'll be the mood for Shrimp PrimaVera on Wednesday when it's only Monday? It KILLS my sister that I will go to the grocery store EVERYDAY because I don't know what to pull out of the freezer, nor do I like freezing anything, I like it fresh. Anyhow, point being is that I decided that one thing that needs to be consistent is my sons night time rituals. So I called Daddy. He said he puts him to bed between 8:00 and 8:30, with water only, in his "Big Boy Bed". Which of course, at Daddy's is a race car bed. Very Cool. He puts the gate on his door, kisses him goodnight, and leaves. At my house, at no particular time, I let him lay with Amber, and they watch T.V. and fall asleep. I think it's adorable to see my kids sleep together, and figure she won't want to sleep with him much longer, so I embraced it. Alex said it would come back and bite me. Last night I tried Daddy's way. My son was letting out gut wrenching screams at the gate by his room. He was crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath. I went in there, and he wanted juice, not water. So I put a splash of juice in his water. I caved. I would never put my kids to bed with a drink but I lost that battle to Daddy a long time ago as he still at 35 goes to bed with a glass of water by his side. Then he wanted music. He falls asleep at school to lullaby's. Well, I don't have any, so the night ended like this.......A splash of juice, the gate went up, and my IPOD was connected to Amber's IDOG, and I believe he finally fell asleep to either "Respect" by Aretha Franklin, or "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce (To the left, to the left). Consistency is the Key my friends...Consistency is the key.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Girls Wear Panties...Boys Wear Underwear

It's official that my son is surrounded by women. He has started to use the potty. He has used it all day at school for the past 2 days. I am so proud of him. He is only 27 months old. Amber was 28 months when she was potty trained, and I have been told that boys are slower. Both of my babies always excelled quickly in all of their milestones. When my daughter was needing a pull up over night for far too long, my sister said to me....."Can't you just accept that she isn't going to be at 110% in everything she does all the time? It's not your success, it's hers." I listened to her. But that didn't stop me from getting an alarm system that attached to her PANTIES and buzzed in her ear to wake her when she started to go pee-pee. Sound excessive you say? IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM. Anyway, the point of the post is to say that my son calls his underwear "panties". So I keep reiterating......Girls wear panties, Boys wear underwear. When I picked him up from school today, his teacher said..."Alex keeps telling me that he has "panties" at home." His Daddy would be so proud. I think it's funny, but maybe for a Daddy it's not. At any rate, he wears his "panties" for about an hour a night. I skipped pull-ups with Amber, and would like to do the same with him, although I think his teachers will prefer them due to his hourly potty visits. We shall see.....I am hoping he will be a full time "Pantie" wearer in the near future.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Thou Shall Not Whine-Venting Post

I want one of these signs in my house. Better yet, I want a button that I can wear on my shirt at all times. Nothing irks me more than a whiner. I never ever ever whine. Whining is for sissy's. When my kids whine, I cringe. And trust me when I tell you, I have plenty I could whine about. When I am at the restaurant working and I hear the younger generation whining about insignificant junk, I want to grab them and shake them, and say......spend a day in my shoes. And I'm sure there's someone that could here my woes, and say the same to me. But when someones whining about nonsense, it drives me nuts. When I have to listen to someone whine about being hungry, or having a headache.....I have another "I wish I had a safety pin for my mouth" moment. You want to whine? How about your son rolling into your room at 6am on his radio flyer bicycle, doing dishes, attending 8:30 service, working 10am service (those are the best parts of this whining session) getting home, folding 70 pounds of laundry, making lunch, getting my clothes ready for The Cheesecake Factory, arriving at 3:45, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off for 7 hours, getting home at 12:30am, winding down, going to bed at 1:45, and the alarm going off at 6:30, which didn't matter, because my son was once again up at 6, getting the kids to school, and to the office by 8:45. No time for primpin' and blow dryin', so my hair looks like a bite off of Dee Schneider. I feel like I partied like a rock star last night. The matching luggage under my eyes is a lovely shade of taupe. And you want to whine because "Your shaking because your starved"? YOUR IN A RESTAURANT. My daughter was whining this morning because she scraped her knee yesterday. You know what I told her? SUCK IT UP AND GET DRESSED FOR SCHOOL. Man, I'm feeling hard core today. Probably because I'm tired of being tired. I don't even consider my little story whining, that's just a day in the life......and I do love my life.