Thursday, March 5, 2009

How I Fail

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all know this. If you think you're a perfect're wrong.

Right now my 3 year old is stuffing his gorgeous little face with an Oreo Mcflurry at 8:50pm. ding..ding..ding..FAILURE.

Fail is actually my problem. I hate to let my kids fail. Robert tells me that I have to let our kids fail sometimes. He says it is how they will learn, and grow. I...key word I have done several 5th grade projects this year that I have done so well on! I will bring Amber back to school for a book or paper, rather than letting her tell her teacher she forgot it, and pay the consequence. I get lost somewhere between....They are my kids and it's my responsibility to make sure they do well/succeed/pass go and collect $200 dollars, and....When they don't behave, forget to do homework, leave something important behind....I should let them hold that responsibility and suffer through the end result.

I stalk my son at school. At least once a week, I 'drop in'. I want the teachers and director to know that I am right around the corner, and can pop in at any moment. Psycho. I know. I watch him through a window that I can see in, but they can't see out. I never have a word to say if my son needs discipline, and I give him plenty. Sometimes all I have to do is look at him, and he walks over to the time out chair. I don't have a problem with his caretaker (Teacher, Aunt, Nana, Robert etc.) keeping him in line and making sure he is doing the right thing. Had I walked up to the window, and saw my son in 'time out', I would have thought to myself....Oh boy, what did he do.....but instead, I actually had to WITNESS him get told to go sit in the time out chair. My heart sank into my stomach. They were sitting at the table waiting for their lunch, and his teacher was reading a story. He was talking to his friend Abigail. He had the cutest smile on his face. I was enjoying watching him. I guess his 'talking out of turn' is what got him in trouble. I watched him take his little self to the chair and sit down. He wasn't upset. Only I was. 80% of me felt that she did the right thing, and he was where he needed to be. Here comes my failure...the other 20% of me wanted to go in there and poke his teachers eyes out and tell her to leave my baby alone. Isn't that horrible? I can't shield them from everything in life. When you do that, you know what happens when they become adults? They are nothing more than toddlers in an over sized body. Jumping and stomping their feet when things don't go their way. So, this is how I fail. But I am working on it.

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