Friday, May 8, 2009

Temptation

Don't ever think you have defeated temptation. It may lurk in the shadows here and there, but it's still there. Waiting to sneak back up on you when you least expect it.

I thought I beat my temptation to expensive clothes/shoes. Every one's definition of expensive is different. To me, $100.00 for shoes or an article of clothing is expensive. I'm not talking Jimmy Choo, I'm talking Guess/Express, just to put things in perspective. When I lived in NY, I squandered way too much money on items like this. I have a tank top from Guess that cost $90.00, and frankly it doesn't have enough material to it to warrant $90 of my hard earned dollars. I have 2 Coach bags that were over $200.00 a piece, and barely fit a wallet and some lip stick in them. As I write these words, I'm sickened by the wasted money. Since having my son and being a single mother for almost 3 years, I learned how to 'tighten the belt'. PacSun purses are great for summer, and they're BIGGER. I stay out of the malls. I read in my car while I wait for my daughter while she is at activities instead of browsing through Target (sometimes).

I'm not beating my temptation, I'm just removing it from my life. I used to drink.....a lot. Ever see a girl drink a 12 pack and dance the night away until 4am, go get her belly button pierced, and then go to work at the bank by 8:30? That was me. Then I had Amber, and I started doing other things....kid friendly things....and the drinking tapered off.....I removed the atmosphere from my life. That doesn't mean I can't drink a few glasses of wine with dinner on occasion, but I'm not putting myself in situations where there is $5.00 buckets of 7oz nips. Alleviating, not conquering.

I used to spend hundreds of dollars a year on my hair. My hair dresser in NY, as amazing as he is, if I'm not mistaken, the last time I walked out of there, my bill was $250.00. I just don't got it like that. So now, I may treat my self to one round of summer highlights. Otherwise, I go solid. Planet 21 salon is very affordable in comparison to my NY hairdresser. I mean, this is hair we are talking about here, kind of important.

That doesn't mean that when I walk through Belk to get to PacSun, I don't walk past the shoe department and my heart doesn't go pitter patter, it doesn't mean that when I walk past Coach, I don't get lost in having sets of matching bags and shoes, it doesn't mean that when I hear the younger girls at work talking about partying all night it doesn't bring me back to some great/crazy memories with my closest friends of partying like a Rock Star.....it just means I remove the things that would fuel the temptation. Make it burn. You really don't think about it, when it's not in your face.

Temptation. You can push it to the side, but you're fooling yourself if you think you've conquered it.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Awesome post Colleen! I needed that today!