Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
My husband passed a comment that I was rather surprised to hear out of all people, his mouth.
"Why does everything have to be so hard?"
Really? Everything? Lets see....
We met in Dec. 2007. We easily fell in love. He loves my kids. They love him. I love his son. He loves me. The kids love each other. One year later, we got engaged. 4 months later we were surrounded by all of the people we love, on a beautiful day at an outside ceremony, and by the grace of God pulled off a beautiful $15,000 wedding that we paid for ourselves without having to go in to major debt. We've never been in that financial position again. God had His hands on our wedding, and He blessed us. 2 months. Yes. 2 months after marriage we became pregnant with Miss BellaMay. Healthy pregnancy, healthy baby. Some couples wait months...even years to have children. By our 11th month of marriage, we had a beautiful baby girl.
If that doesn't define "easy", I don't know what does. We have been so blessed and our lives coming together has been a precious, smooth blessing.
So yeah, we had the miscarriage disaster. We're going through some stressful things right now. But we got where we are pretty easily, and life isn't always going to be easy. I said the same things to him, and he was ashamed that those words even left his lips. The best way to stay is positive, and thankful. The rest will fall in to place just when it is supposed to.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I saw what appeared to be a boyfriend hanging over a very irritated girlfriends cashier area where he was mumbling something in her ear, and she just kept repeating...."I don't care, I don't care, I don't care." Customers or no customers, this is what was going on. He wasn't giving up, and she wasn't giving in. I don't know what he did, but he was in trouble for sure. I felt bad for her that he showed up at her job. I felt bad for him that she was so unforgiving.
I saw a middle aged couple paying for their items, and I saw the husband say something to the wife as he stood there, and waited to pay. Then I saw the wife walk over to the bagging area and start to put the bags in the cart. As the husband continued to just stand there, waiting to pay. This made me angry. How rude. Who tells their wife to go load up the cart while you just stand there. Does he feel he's entitled because he's the one that works? Does he always treat her this way? Does this make her feel bad, or is this how their marriage works?
The cashier that was on my register talked and talked and talked to the lady in front of me. They were both older than me. Maybe 5-10 years. She was talking about some type of invention thing that she was thinking of. The woman thought it was a good idea. She really went in to detail, and they spoke until she walked off. Then I came up....and nothing but a Hello. No conversation. No talk of her invention (which I can't for the life of me remember at the moment.) Not one word except Hello, and Have a nice day. Wow. Is it me? Do I look mean? Uneasy to talk to? Snobby? I was almost insulted that she didn't talk to me. Freaky, I know.
I'm better off going to the store with my kids so I can't even think straight, never mind over analyze everything around me.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Losing a baby is sad enough, taking 21 days to lose a baby is..well...devestating.
A doctors appointment with no warning....no heartbeat.
A week of loss at home.
2 procedures. 1 surgery with anesthetics and meds, one with nothing at all.
2 hospital visits, 1 lasting 2 days.
2 days of fevers.
1 baby that we will not get to meet, know if it was a boy or girl, hold in our arms...until we meet in heaven.
1 God that was with us the entire time, and knows what is best for our family. 1 God that we never second guess.
1 husband who has been remarkable for 21 days who I love even more each day.
1 Mommy that for the first time in 17 months isn't either pregnant, recovering from pregnancy, or sick.
1 couple who's not sure if they will try again.
1 couple that is ready to close this chapter and move on to the next.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
A lot of other big things are going on in this house as well. I'm not going to go on and on in this post, just going to give a sneak peak into future posts.
Amber. Oh Amber. In a few words, for medical reasons, Amber needs a nose job. Probably next summer. Scared. To. Death. So is she. We try not to talk about it too much. More details to come.
Bella-WOW. She has her 6 month check up on Tuesday, so I will let you in on all of her new "firsts" then. Here is a sneak peak at her Halloween costume. You have to see it on. So adorable!
These have been helping me through some rough mornings, and afternoons. Yes. Read it again. You did read it right. I just want to say THANK YOU to the handful of people that simply hugged me and said congratulations! without of the 'smart guy' remarks. We are a happily married couple and God continues to bless us in many, many, ways.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Each day brings new beginnings
Decisions I must make
I am the only one to chose
The road that I will take
I can choose to take the road of life
That leads to great success
Or travel down the darkened road
That leads to great distress
Please open up my eyes, dear Lord
That I might clearly see
Help me stand for what is right
Bring out the best in me
Help me, Lord, to just say "no"
When temptation comes my way
That I might keep my body clean
And fit for life each day
When my teenage years are over
I know that I will see
That life is lived its very best
With You walking next to me
Monday, August 30, 2010
I'm a working mother, so I will take all 3 of my kids to the grocery store when my husband is home, just because I feel like I should be with them because I work. The end result? I leave with nothing that I actually went for because I can't even think straight. (this happened just today)
I left Bella home from my dance class tonight because she was sleeping. I got to get in the car all by myself, and just go. I felt so guilty when I got to the dance studio and my mother was sitting there waiting for Bella. :(
I let my 12 year old sleep with me on the nights that my husband works because she loves to, and I know she won't want to sleep with me much longer. The end result? I end up falling off the bed, or getting slapped in the face/head etc. because she sleeps like a lunatic.
I get dressed in the morning with my 2 big kids in the bathroom with me because they just want to hang out with me. The end result? Sometimes I have mascara on one eye. Maybe only one earring. You never know.
I actually complain that I have no time to myself, and the when I do, I say to myself.....I should have...could have.....I mean, really? I know this is a twisted mind. My sister always tells me I'm a nut with this stuff. She's right.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Amber got up at 5:30 on her own and got in the shower, blew out her hair, straightened it, and was ready with an hour to spare. If you know my daughter I hope you are laughing your butt off right now. Amber can't get up in the morning. She usually showers at night for that reason. Amber never dries her hair. Amber rarely wears her hair down. She tends to rock the 'housewife' hair. She usually likes to wear sweatpants for comfort. When I got up at 6:15 and she was bright eyed with a towel on her head, I thought I was going to pass out. She was too cute.
She wanted this bag so bad. I can't/won't/ would never spend $55 plus tax on a book bag. Thank you Dad.
She got this lunch box at the beach. I love it, and so does she. I was proud of her for getting it, because all of the girls at her school carry Vera Bradley lunch boxes. She branched out on her own. Go girl!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
This year, I have taken on a new position as a 5 day 3 year old teacher. I am so excited! New age, new curriculum, new classroom....and I am getting to do what I love ever more, which is work with children. I know it's my calling, it's what I am meant to do, and I hope to do it with excellence. Now, as a middle school teacher I would get fired in 2 days for man handling someone else's kid, but preschool is perfect for me. I am so excited for this new season to begin.
Feelin' it-Bella. Leaving Bella. Overall, it is a better fit for our family. I will be home at night much, much more. Job #2 will be very sporadic. I will be home by 1:30 everyday. Bella will not have to go to daycare. She will be with her daddy, and sometimes with my mother. You can't beat that. I just don't want to miss anything! I've been spoiled by being home with her all summer, and so so thankful for it. She has gotten so big and she changes almost everyday. The following year she will come to school with me a few days a week, so if I can make it through this year, I'll be alright! Look at her! Isn't she just awesome!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A HUGE part of who my father was was that he owned a 7-11 food store. We owned this store for 12 out of the 18 years that I spent with my father. It's not so much that he owned it, but more of how he got there. With no college education, my father had several different jobs in his younger years. I think he may have even had a coffee truck? My sister will help me with that, she knows more than I do. She actually blogged about something similar here. A bartender I believe....whatever it took to keep provision for his family. He has a true story of working your way up from the bottom. He worked for the Southland Corporation (7-11) training franchisees, which was an office job, and he also worked as a clerk in a local 7-11 store. I remember that was when he taught me how to tie a tie, and he used to let me shave next to him with a razor with a cap on it. He started to travel with this position, and after a short while, he couldn't bare to leave his wife and 4 kids alone to travel quite frequently. He was quitting the job all together, to find something that better suited his family. They didn't want to let him go. So much so, that the store that we owned was about to close, and they decided to practically give him the store (for $4000.00) in hopes that he would be able to bring it back to life. He did just that. And then some. It turned to be one of the top performing stores for many years.
The sign? Just when you're not sure if your loved ones are still with you....you have a baby girl, and she weighs 7 pounds, 11 ounces. Coincidence? You decide. I know what I think.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
He's a great big brother to Bella. He really loves her. He's such a vibrant little boy!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Robert and I are pretty simple people, and we had the best time and laughed to tears over and over again on this little getaway. I love being married!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
This bag was given to me from 2 of my girlfriends. This bag is a show stopper. It's a one of a kind, original design. Everybody asks me where I got this bag. My friend Katie knows of this store in Hickory, that she and my friend Rachel got to pick out each and every piece of fabric, and decide exactly where on the bag it was going to go. I mean down to the straps. The changing pad that is in it as well. I knew she has done this before, so when she asked me what I needed for Bella, with no shame, I replied: "A diaper bag". I wanted one. They are pricey-I would say over $100. But I LOVE IT. It has plenty of space, and it's beautiful-however I would not bring this bag to the beach. I kinda hate to set it on the floor, but I do sometimes. It's special to me, and I think they did an amazing job on it. The picture does it no justice. Next time you see me, check it out. You'll love it too. It's made by Ella Blu. At least that's what it says on the bag.
Anyway, if you were dancing for 2 years or more, you received an award for how many years you have been dancing. Amber received her 9th year award!! She started at 2. I wish I had a picture to post. So, so beautiful. There were also a few specialty awards. These awards had the dance studio 'mascot' on them, and they were personalized with the children's names. It is a great way to honor the kids in special areas. I had no idea that Amber was getting one! It went something like this.....
" This dancer joined in with a group of girls that have been dancing together for 5 years. There were lots of tears, and struggles, and progress, and determination. She has come so far in this year, and I am so, so proud of her! And this dancer is.......Amber Delemo!"
She got the 'Most Improved' award. Naturally, I did what any mother would do. I cried. I did my best to have a quick recovery and told myself I was being crazy. Until I looked over at her father, and his eyes were welled up too. Such a proud, proud moment. I was in the car with her every Tuesday night when she broke down in tears saying she can't do it. I encouraged her. I told her I believed in her. I told her to believe in herself. I pushed her to persevere, and not to quit. Miss Charyl let her know that she believed in her. She told her to wipe her tears, and go get help from the other dancers. She gave her some tough love. She made sure that she knew that by the first competition, she would be dancing with these girls. And she did. And she has had her strongest, most productive year of dance that she has ever had in her life.
We are so proud of our Shining Star!!! I can't even post a picture of the award because her very proud father took it. When she called papa and told him, he asked her to bring the award to NY with her next weekend so he could see it. We are so happy that Amber finally found a school and an amazing teacher that will push her to be the very best that she can be.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Working at the preschool, I have heard the most unique names in my life. A lot of little girls have maiden names as their middle names here. Wilson, Fletcher, Slate, etc. I know a lot of little girls that have 2 first names. Mary Morgan, Sarah Emily, Selby Kate...etc. Lots of bold biblical names. A few other names that could get a boy beat up one day. It makes me hope that my kids grow up to love their names, and are proud to say them out loud. Here's a small explanation of each:
Taylor Storm-I obviously didn't name him, but I know for a fact he thinks he has the greatest middle name ever. However, he does have his moments when he wishes he was named after Robert.
Amber Michelle-First name-no meaning other than the fact that it took 9 months for us to agree on a name. Michelle is after Alex's Uncle Mike.
Alexander John-This was non negotiable. Something Alex has wanted since the day he was old enough to even think about having kids. To have a son, and for him to be the third. Luckily, I really like the name-so that was no problem.
BellaMay Rose-BellaMay-Robert's grandmother's name was MayBelle, so we flipped it. Rose is my mother's name.
I am the only one of 4 kids who doesn't have a family name. It used to bother me, but it's really not a big deal. Hopefully Amber will feel the same.
Big responsibility-naming someone. Hey-at least I did better than Apple, or Knoxx.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Amber was an only child for 7 1/2 years. We did so many things together. By the time she was 2, She had been to every show on ice, Disney World, The circus, Gymboree, Kinder music, dance class-you name it-we did it. We went to preschool together. She attended, I worked there. She got sooooo much one on one time with me. It was completely over done. Hey-I was 24 and a new mother. No, I did not make the same choices for my son. This was all way too excessive, and to this day she is pretty high maintenance when it comes to keeping busy and entertained. But I wouldn't change our life together. I only wish she remembered even half of it.
Alex-His time to shine has been while Amber is at school. Much more low key-he is a different child. He can't keep still for a half hour T.V. show-never mind a circus, or on line at Disney. So we share our special time together differently. We race matchbox cars down the hallway. We play Guess Who? We go on lunch dates. We go to the park. We swim. We play spy, and karate. We make playdough. We too go to preschool together, and come home together (at the same school! He had Amber's 3's teachers this year!) We go on bike rides. We race to the car, and he tells me: "Mom, only boys win races, not girls!!" He may not remember all of the details, but he will remember how much time we spent together-Mother and son.
Bella-Bella is my "li'l Mama". Right now we snuggle in the evenings, and in the early mornings. But if your following the pattern here, As I am dropping my son off for his first day of kindergarten (not this year, next year), I will hug and kiss my big boy, drop my big girl off at her last year of middle school, and my baby and I will head off to preschool-together-at the same school, and it will be her "Own Time to Shine".
To each is own, and there is no right or wrong way, but the way I was given my children was especially tailored for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
A summer purse. This one is made by Coach. I don't know if you can consider it a wrislet, because it's bigger than your average wristlet, but it's a perfect, perfect summer bag. The truth is, it's my 12 year old daughter's, but I have kidnapped it. It was her Easter gift from her grandfather. It looks so cute with just about anything. In this what appears to be an itty bitty bag, is a small wallet (more like a credit card holder), my camera in the case, my phone, 2 lip glosses, personal items, a pen, and some mints. What else could you possibly need? It fits in your diaper bag, and easily pulls out when you are kid free. I "Love it!"
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I tried to turn it into a light hearted moment, and laugh it off. He stood firm. He said it again. "That was VERY ungodly". Completely rebuked. He did not crack so much as a grin either. I was clearly disappointing my husband, and he was making sure I knew I was disappointing God.
I am sure you can guess what happened next. I turned the car around to go see if he could help. He sat their quietly, while I did what I should have done in the first place.
I am so glad I have a husband that will speak truth into my life, even if it's not what I want to hear. I hope he is always so bold. I hope I can be the same way when I come face to face with a circumstance where I need to speak truth into someones life.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I made my own sensory table for Alex. Being a preschool teacher, you learn so many great ideas to keep your kids busy and stimulated. Believe it or not, Amber enjoys it too. You can buy one, but they are a lot of money, and if you have a rubber maid and 2 chairs, and some beach toys, your good to go. I had water in ours since spring, but today I switched it over to rice. Yes, it's a little messy, but you can't leave all of the mess for the preschool teachers. :)
You can also do sand, shaving cream, and anything else you can think of that feels good between little fingers. Your children will LOVE it. If you can set it up somewhere covered, it's great for rainy days too. Or set it in the grass, and then there's no mess!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Are you building your legacy? Do you know and realize that life can be taken from you at any given moment if it is your time? Are you making the very best of your life, and contributing to the world and all of the people in your life that God has blessed you with? Are you living a life with purpose? Will you be leaving a legacy? It's never too late to build your legacy. If you wake up each morning with the attitude that you are on a mission to build your name and leave a legacy, you will be unstoppable.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Recently he said to me, "I love you. I hope I tell you that enough, because I really do love you, and your a great wife. "
Don't get me wrong, if he's watching T.V. or playing a game, he goes deaf just like a lot of other men, but he does do nice things for me too.
On Mother's Day, I opened up a gift bag with perfume, and cream, and shower gel. I thought it was a great gift. And then I looked more closely at the bottle.....
Do you see the name of the perfume? Bella. How stinkin' cute is that. That in itself was the best "first Mother's Day" with Bella gift I could have ever gotten. And the bonus? It smells great. Not to mention it's made by MaryKay, so he had to do some research, and order it.
How can you honor your spouse or significant other today? A card? flowers? A hand delivered Starbucks? Breakfast in bed? Remember to always show thanks and appreciation in your everyday hectic life. You'll be glad you did, and will probably regret it if you don't. It keeps life alive and kickin'.