Monday, January 4, 2010

It's Hard

When your children are small, you worry about things like....keeping them from getting hurt, making sure they stay at your side at all times when you are out, and teach them about strangers. You work on their listening skills, and manners. You make sure they are dressed appropriately for the weather, and you keep them safe to the very best of your ability.

As they get older, the worry gets...well....different. Watching your child's feeling get hurt is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Now that Amber is in middle school, and we all know how mean little girls can be, I have been having to watch her go through some growing pains. without going into detail, I had to watch my baby girl cry on her bed yesterday because her feelings got hurt.

The hardest part for me is just letting it happen, and letting her go through it. I can't begin to admit to tell you the awful thoughts that ran through my mind all day yesterday. I have a simple motto that doesn't work in any way, shape, or form:

You hurt my kids, I hurt you.

Irrational? Yes. Unrealistic? Of course. It's not how my mind feels, it how my heart feels. I know I can't fight her battles, but I want to. I know I can't make the hurt go away by retaliating, but I want to. I know I can't beat up her Mom, because I can go to jail, and besides, the Mom isn't the one that hurt my daughter, but I want to. I know I can't pull a child's hair that's not mine, but I want to. (nor would I pull my own child's hair)

My husband tells me I have to let her grow, and experience these things on her own. And I suppose I will. With some duct tape and restraints. But I guess I have to do it.


Jim, Heather, Jordan and Madison said...

So sorry for Amber, we all remember those inital days of mean girls.....but she will be tougher because of them. Sadly, as we both know, there will always be mean girls. You are a wonderfully strong mother and she knows you have her back!

Marie Marsicano said...

Why would you post this here for me to read???

I am already on edge with another niece of mine being hurt recently.

Obviously my mind works like yours does and I guess for 2010 I will need to work on that. I make no promises.... :)