Saturday, November 20, 2010

21 days

21 days
504 hours
30,240 minutes

Losing a baby is sad enough, taking 21 days to lose a baby is..well...devestating.

A doctors appointment with no warning....no heartbeat.

A week of loss at home.

2 procedures. 1 surgery with anesthetics and meds, one with nothing at all.

2 hospital visits, 1 lasting 2 days.

2 days of fevers.

1 infection.

1 baby that we will not get to meet, know if it was a boy or girl, hold in our arms...until we meet in heaven.

1 God that was with us the entire time, and knows what is best for our family. 1 God that we never second guess.

1 husband who has been remarkable for 21 days who I love even more each day.

1 Mommy that for the first time in 17 months isn't either pregnant, recovering from pregnancy, or sick.

1 couple who's not sure if they will try again.

1 couple that is ready to close this chapter and move on to the next.

1 comment:

Reminisce said...

Colleen,
Wow. It's hard. We had a similar thing happen to us. They gave me a choice of having surgery or letting things happen 'naturally' (it was anything but natural). I chose not to have surgery and it too, lasted forever. I'm thinking it took around 4 months before everything was 'done'. I also remember thinking it would never end and I was just so ready for it to be over with. I went through so many emotions - the anger lasted the longest and was the most scary to me. I remember feeling like I wanted to punch one girl in the face for nothing at all to do with the miscarriage - I was just mad at everything and everybody.
I knew that I must know someone who had been through this before but since no one had been public with their struggles I didn't have anyone to talk to/ ask questions of.
I felt like I was in a hole all by myself because months later it seemed like everyone had forgotten about it, but not me! They of course hadn't forgotten, but didn't know what to say.
If you want to talk/cry/scream to someone who's been there and will try not to say anything stupid (Good golly so many people said stupid, stupid, stupid things to me) - shoot me an email.
I wrote a blog about it almost 9 months after it happened if you'd like to read it.
Laurina Sigmon
sigmonlabsncsu@yahoo.com

http://jeremybeansmama.blogspot.com/2008/01/mud-in-your-face.html