me+2makes3......and we make a family

Truth and Lies

2012-02-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

"A liar is not believed, even if he tells the truth."

How accurate is that statement? Think about it. We all know liars. Some of us have to deal with them on a daily basis. What baffles me the most is the people that lie for no reason. Just to say what they think you may want to hear. There must be more behind those lies. Something deeper. Liars often lie so much, they don't remember what they previously told you. But you do. And over time, that's how they claim their title.

Back to the quote. It's a sad statement. Sad but true. Once you are labeled a liar, there is no coming back. No matter what you do, even if you never tell another lie again, you will be doubted forever. I've done it. I've listened to someone that has lied to me many times, and as the words are leaving their lips, I'm like..."yeah-right." Even if their words were true, to me, "you just never know". The label will always hinder anyone from believing. Even small things.

Be real. Be you. No lies. No tales. What you see is what you get is SO much more attractive than the transparent liar that just makes it up as they go along. Don't take the chance of getting the label that has a "No Return Policy".

Before it's too late

2012-02-02T22:06:00.000-05:00

I dropped the ball on raising my children accustom to doing chores. No chore charts. No lists. No Saturday morning tasks.

In my culture, the Mommy does everything. My Mom did everything. So did my grandmother. That's what Mommy's do. Mom is always the 1st person in the kitchen, and the last one in the kitchen. Mom always stays up late and watches television while she folds and presses the laundry. Mom does the grocery shopping, and Mom loved to see vacuum marks in the carpet.

I have 4 kids. (not counting my husband). My house is busy, and often messy. It's something I try to accept..to no avail. Today I decided to ask the kids for help. The moaning and groaning and sudden pain in my sons legs.....I get that. He's 6 years old. He actually just wanted to do different chores than the ones I picked for him. My stepson was happy to help. I did not birth, or raise him.

My beautiful daughter Amber. It wasn't that she complained that she had to do the chores, she was just in some type of shock that I asked her to do them. She looked at me as if I just escaped from the insane asylum. She may have even looked over her shoulder to see if I was speaking to someone else.

I really want to raise my girls to be good stewarts of their home and great caregivers to their families. I told Amber that she is going to have to do all these things as an adult, and that they will be her responsibility. Right now she's not jumping to rise to the occassion. I was Amber once. When I was finally on my own, I had to start to do it all. But all those years of being with my mother...I watched. I knew. I made it. And she will too. However, chores need to be set in place, and should've been a long time ago.

Old and New

2012-01-31T22:58:00.002-05:00

This tree is special to me.

We got it on our trip to the mountains.

We were looking at it the other night.

It's changing.

It's growing.

The old branches are deep in hue.

Seasoned.

Mature.

Tough and sturdy.

The new branches are bright.

Luminous.

Fresh.

Tender and fragile, yet vibrant and eager.

They are an extension of the old branches.

They wouldn't be who they are without them.

The Old and New rely on each other.

The Old need the new to grow and change.

The new need the old, as they hold the deep roots.

Old is amazing.

New is beautiful.

Together, they are the make-up of One. Beautiful. Thing.

Gotcha!

2012-01-26T21:26:00.001-05:00

I am going back a few months, but these are too cute not to share. Bella is truly her father's baby. Robert, Taylor and Bella were picking up chickens, while Me, Amber, and Alex were running from them.

I am Colleen Corbett

2012-01-24T21:24:00.001-05:00

I have been having some rough times. Not me personally, but what is going on around me is taking it's toll. I've been tired. I've been crying. I have even skipped work at night, which is not like me. On Saturday morning, my sister called me, and said one sentence to me. Four words. It packed such a punch. She said...."You are Colleen Corbett, and you are going to work."

That's all I needed. That one sentence to turn it all around. That one sentence to remind me.

I am Colleen Corbett.

Colleen Corbett watched the man that meant the world to her lose his battle with cancer when she should have been in her 1st year of college.

Colleen Corbett didn't "come into herself " until she was 25, and often felt unpretty.

Colleen Corbett was insecure and made some bad decisions because of it.

Colleen Corbett payed the price for those bad decisions.

Colleen Corbett masked sadness and insecurity with 12 packs of beer.

Colleen Corbett had to walk away from a 10 year relationship at 32 years old with 2 children and start her life over.

Colleen Corbett hit rock bottom.

Colleen Corbett finally found her way. Colleen Corbett is now Colleen Gebhardt. She has an amazing life. She's confident, and secure. She's at a place she never thought she would be, and she will always remember the journey she took to get there, and the strong woman she is because of it.

I am Colleen Corbett.

Defending All Dance Moms

2012-01-19T15:17:00.003-05:00

I am a dance Mom. My daughter is on a competition dance team. I swear on all that is holy that our studio, and our owner is NOTHING like that disgraceful show! Pyramids? Go home and cry on your pillow? You were terrible? Scratching other studio owners eyes out? Moms cursing at each other. Moms cursing at the owner? The owner screaming at everyone? I saw the show for the 1st time, and I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I have never seen or experienced anything like it. Our studio is the total opposite. We are told that we represent the company, and we will do so with dignity and respect. Speaking badly about other studio's, dancers, or parents is strictly prohibited. One thing I always think of, is Amber's teacher says to never tell a child when they mess up. They know it, and they will beat themselves up plenty, so they do not need to hear it from you. It's just not that serious. Not to compromise someones feelings and self esteem. Do we work hard? Of course! Are the expectations high? Absolutely! Do we win? Heck yeah! But we do it all in a very positive atmosphere. I wouldn't let that woman to pay me to allow my daughter to dance for her. Her and I would've scrapped a long time ago. That's saying it nicely. Children should dance with confidence. Love what they are doing. Have a great time. Do these look like stressed out girls that are afraid of their dance teacher, or afraid of failing?

When?

2012-01-17T21:05:00.000-05:00

As I sit here listening to my baby cry herself to sleep, I wonder what the words "peace and quiet" mean, and when will I get some? Since I got off of work, I:

Went food shopping
Did crafts with my kids
Played in the yard in the sandbox
Made dinner
Gave baths
Folded 3 loads of laundry
Bella fell off the bed
She hit her back on the night table (2 different instances)
Prepared a 1st visit from the tooth fairy

And I am actually blowing off a few things I should still do. I'm not even complaining. I couldn't be happier with what I did today. Does that sound peaceful or relaxing? Not really. As the Mom, have you ever noticed that everyone else in the house gets "Their Time" to do whatever it is they choose to do, except for the Mom? Isn't the Mom always the last one to say...."I need some uninterrupted "me" time. You can think about it, wish for it, but how often do you actually do it? I hope to make a conscious effort to make this happen for me. Whether it's read a book, or blog, or go window shopping...and I don't want it to be after I did everything I had to do.Or after the kids have gone to bed. I think it's important for Mom's to put themselves 1st once in a while. Make it a priority. You'll come back to your family refreshed. Relaxed. And ready to slip back into your Wonder Woman costume and hit the ground running.

A year later

2012-01-12T20:14:00.001-05:00

Just about a year ago, I blogged about taking a biblical approach to losing weight. I read Made To Crave, a very inspirational Christ centered book that approaches losing weight in a new, fresh biblical way. I am proud to say I have lost 25 pounds since then. I have 5 pounds left to reach my goal weight. I never thought I would be disciplined enough to get here, but I made it.

However, the results are bittersweet. The truth is, the weight may be gone, but.....between age and child birth-lets just say my ~~fab~~ is kinda flab. Yeah. I said it. You know it's true too. Which only means one thing. I have to add exercise to my daily routine. The fact is, I lost the weight through dieting only. I do not exercise. I have no love. None. Nada. I am never consistent. Now, it's non-existent. I found a DVD series that is only 30 minutes long. That appealed to me. I don't have many openings of free time. But I do want to do this. I need to do this. You think reaching your goal weight is all about the number, but it's not. Not at all. It's so much more than the number on the scale. Being physically fit inside and out is what's most important. So this is where I am. Proud to be here, and ready to take a new approach. I am praying for longevity, and an honest love for exercise.

1st Day of Preschool

2012-01-10T10:28:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it. In September, Bella was 18 months old. The plan was for her to stay home with my mother, who retired partly to take care of Bella. It was not a question that 18 months was too young for her to go to school. She was going to spend a year with Nana, and go to 2 day 2's next year with me at Trinity. Which she will still do. Now it's January, and as the words "It's mine!", "let go!", and "Stop it!", started coming out of her mouth, I realized that she needed some "little people" time. She can clearly speak, and communicate her needs now. (1 of the reasons I didn't want to send her). She is going to 2 day toddlers at University City United Methodist Church. My mother was a teacher there before she retired. She knows the entire staff. My niece and nephew went through the program there. It's a great school.

As you know if you follow my blog, I am a huge advocate of preschool. 4 hours geared totally around them, and their interests. Bella's very best friend is 68 years old. Her best friend gives her whatever she wants, and so does everybody else from siblings to cousins to ~~daddy~~ (Sorry Dad), and it is starting to show. We need to get that straight at home, and she will learn to share, interact, parallel play, and understand the word "No" at school as well. We are so excited for her. She went in with no worries. Never even said goodbye. Her teacher asked me if she is as feisty as her "best friend".

Absolutely.

A Way With Words

2012-01-05T21:25:00.001-05:00

I am pretty old fashioned. I believe whole hearted that a wife should take care of her family. Cook, Clean, do laundry, take care of her home. I believe how a home is kept and the food on the table and how her children look is a direct reflection of the woman of the house, and it should be done with pride, rather than resistance.

With that said, I told my son not long ago, that he should look for these qualities in a wife one day. He listened. However, when he repeated it back to me, it came out..well...awful.

"She needs to clean, cook dinner, and wash my clothes.". Oh my. My 5 year old son was suddenly a caveman. This needed to be refined. We worked on it. It's still funny (the end), but much, much better than the way it came across the 1st time.

Wordly and Witty

2012-01-04T15:58:00.002-05:00

My husband is worldly. He is enthralled in current events, politics, Sasquatch, big foot, extra terrestrials, history, religion, discovery....if he's in front of the television, he is learning. His intelligence is attractive, and also annoying. Can't we watch a trashy Soap Opera? Dabble in a little Law and Order SVU? Hang out with a funny 30 minute meaningless sitcom? Nope. I try not to get overly involved with the things he loves as far as this goes. I live my life, I believe in God, when it's my time to go, then it's my time to go, and I prefer not to meet E.T., Big Foot, come face to face with a killer whale, and there is no need for me to personally get to know a congressman from Iowa. That's just me. What I do have though, is wit. Here is a conversation I had with my husband this morning via text.

Me: Did you forget your lunch?

Robert: Yes, and my wedding ring. I think I have early onset alzheimer's.

Me: Your so engrossed in the world instead of your everyday life/tasks. You need to find a balance. Did you watch the news this morning? (never local news)

Robert: Yes I did. It's a burden I must carry for being more intelligent than the average human LOL!!

Me: You're right Robert. You will be all prepared to meet Big Foot and aliens but you won't have your wedding ring on when they kill you and you'll die starving because you forgot your lunch.

Robert: Damn Babe!

Me: I may not be worldly, but I am witty.

Robert: This I know.

Defeated! :)

All Around Me

2012-01-04T15:41:00.000-05:00

There is sickness and pain all around me in this season of my life.

A friend on a waiting list for a kidney.

A pregnant woman with an eating disorder.

A 12 year marriage on rocky ground.

Someone who's future as she has always known it is now uncertain.

A young wife and mother with a terminal illness.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. I can't find the words that will make a difference in all of these shaken lives. A friendly ear? Meals delivered? Advice? What is my role in all of this?

I count my blessings. I know that at any given moment, my world can be shaken too. I do my best not to take anything, or anyone for granted. I know that I need to make a conscious effort to make a positive difference in these peoples lives. I just don't know exactly what that is for each of them. I don't want to fail them. I'm blown away by what is going on all around me. For the 1st time in a long time, my life is stable, and for that I am truly blessed. My future was once uncertain. I had a 10 year rocky relationship. I watched a terminal illness take my father away. I know these feelings, and they are terrifying. I'm praying Sun Stand Still prayers. Pray them with me.

The Last, and The First

2012-01-02T15:13:00.002-05:00

His last day of preschool.

His 1st day of kindergarten.

Folly Beach, South Carolina

2012-01-01T22:46:00.001-05:00

Oh, how we love Charleston.

And we are a beach family.

We spent a week in a house on the beach.

Total beach bums.

We brought our Mom's.

We even brought the dog.

It was amazing!

BellaMay Rose and I'm back!

2011-12-28T09:26:00.001-05:00

Bella is one (almost 2)

Life is moving fast

I want to blog

I really do

I'm going to try again

I'm going to start with pictures

To recap time lost

Please come and visit

I would love you to see

How awesome our family is!

Believe it

2011-03-21T21:48:00.003-04:00

I have heard so many people say that they have "Heard from God". I never knew what that meant. I have often prayed about it. "Speak to me. I want to hear clearly from you about...(fill in blank)". I had times that I thought I would never hear from God. I have wondered if I have in fact heard from Him, and just chose not to listen.

When we were trying to get our house, we hit quite a few obstacles. I prayed and prayed so hard for this house. We looked at a bunch, and we all knew this was the one. It got so bad, that the closing was put off 2 times, and then we received a termination of contract.

I heard from God that day. Not in "voice" form, just a calm came over me. A sense of security, and promise. I told my husband that we were not signing that paper, and that we were going to live in this house in time to celebrate our baby's 1st birthday. I told my family the same thing, even though the realtor and the lender said we lost the house. It was going back on the market. They didn't want to sell it to us anymore. I stood strong in that I knew that God promised me that this is where He wanted us, and this is where we would be. 2 weeks ago, we officially moved in the house. The same house everyone said we lost. The same house my husband told me not to keep my hopes up for (who later shamefully called himself "Ye of little faith"), the same house that we were sent a termination on contract twice for. And this past Saturday we celebrated BellaMay's 1st birthday. God keeps His promises.

I Deliver

2011-02-24T00:32:00.002-05:00

Have you read my previous post? (Sorry about the lapse, packing/moving/working/mommy-ing/ wifey-ing has been taking up all of my time) Anyway, there is a sentence in that post that I wish I could erase from my husbands memory for good.

"My husband is a man who delivers, and for that I am truly blessed."

Never ever did I know I would be hearing this line until I want to hit him over the head with my shoe.

Robert, can you grab me a water while your up?

Of course I can, I deliver.

Babe, can you do me a favor?

I gave you a baby, I got the car, the house.... but I can do even more....I DELIVER.

Robert are you going to get up? We have a lot to do.

LEAVE ME ALONE! I DELIVER! (Arms stretched out to the side)

I am going to eat those words for the rest of my life. And I am going to deliver my foot where the sun don't shine if he doesn't stop!

As You Wish

2011-02-12T21:57:00.008-05:00

About 6 months into our relationship, my husband and I started to discuss expectations, and hopes and dreams for the future. What do you want in life? What are your goals? Where do you want to be in 5 years? What do you expect of your partner and of this relationship? We wanted a lot of the same things. A strong faith. A partner with Integrity. Honesty. Respect. Putting each other first. We have had all of that from the very beginning. We also discussed other hopes and dreams. Mine were pretty big. I wanted to get engaged. Get married. Have a baby. Get a vehicle that comfortably fit our whole family. Have a home that also comfortably fit our whole family. I thought those were pretty bold requests.

My husband is a man who delivers. And for that, I am truly blessed.

Our 2nd date: 12/31/2007
Our Engagement: 12/06/2008
Our Wedding Day 04/25/2009

Our beautiful BellaMay Rose 03/19/2010

Our Family Car 11/04/2010

Our New Home 02/12/2011

I couldn't be more proud of my husband, and I am SO proud to be his wife.

I Love My Boys

2011-02-10T00:39:00.000-05:00

Miss Piggy

2011-02-08T22:52:00.000-05:00

That's it. I'm calling Amber out on the world wide web. She is my Miss Piggy. I don't know how this happened. I like to consider myself a pretty clean person. Her father is borderline "Monk". Her extended family on both sides keep neat, clean homes. How did we get here? How do we get to a better place? This is only 2 shots of many that I could have taken. Never mind the bottom of her closet, or her drawers. Woah.

This is a basket-type thing next to her dresser. It's packed with crap. I went to grab the mouse for her laptop out of here, and I think something bit me. I am giving her a deadline to clean it out, or it's all going in the trash.

This is her night stand. The orange ball is what I believe to be dirty socks. A pile of laundry that I had asked her to put away, a bowl with...ranch residue, and an apple sauce container and those are her shoes that she took her first steps in that I had bronzed sitting in between her mess.

I love you Amber. Don't kill me for this. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. :)

Well Fed

2011-02-07T22:34:00.005-05:00

I've been told many times in various ways that Bella is chunky. She is. I know this. My favorite was one day when we were in the grocery store, a woman called her "well fed".

Well Fed. It's important to us that Bella is well fed. Literally. She wants to eat by herself, and turns her head to being fed with a spoon-unless of course, it's "real food". I needed to find something that she could pick up herself, and that was good for her. I have a hard time giving my kids anything that contains perishable items, yet they can sit on a shelf in a jar or a box for months. That just doesn't seem right to me. Meat in a box? Or in a jar on the shelf? Gross. When Bella can't eat what we are having for dinner, I need to give her something good and healthy. I found this food in Harris Teeter in the frozen section. The fact that a doctor makes the food didn't really peak my interest, what did is the ingredients. I can pronounce them all. Very natural. Good for you. Simple. Delicious. There are several different items and choices. Right beneath these items were also tortellini that is all natural as well. So in one meal, she gets pasta, cheese, fish, spinach, and potato. Look how happy she is. I think she likes it!

Love It Series-Casual boots

2011-02-01T22:26:00.006-05:00

I've never been big on casual shoes. It's either a heel, or a summer shoe, or a tennis shoe. Not too much in between. Being a preschool teacher, and a mother with an infant and a 5 year old....well...lets just say my heels probably have dust on them. So it was time to venture out. I found these 2 pairs of boots and I love them. I've worn them with skinny's, and under boot cut jeans. They are comfy, and let me tell you about affordable. I bought the top pair for myself right before Christmas. They were $65. After the guilt became overwhelming over my selfish decision to buy myself something during the holidays, I returned them. About 2 weeks ago, I went back. They were marked down to $42.00. Nice! Went up to the register, and they were another 50% off. 20 bucks for Roxy boots at Pacsun. So I wound up with 2 for the price of not-even-one. 40 dollars for both. What a steal!

Sunday Funday

2011-02-01T00:24:00.007-05:00

How about yesterday? 67 degrees! January 30th! Beautiful! We had to take advantage of the day, so we went to the park. Apparently, so did everyone else. It was sooo crowded! Amber did a great job following Alex all over the place while I pushed Bella in the baby swing. We all had a really nice day together. Church, lunch, park, and ended the night with the kids favorite dinner. I took a few pictures at the park. I have to admit that Amber and Alex don't always live in harmony, but they did yesterday. They were besties. It was so nice to watch. I hope we have a few more unusually warm days this winter.
P.S. - Bella's outfit is a strawberry, and it's so stinkin' cute.

Where's Bella?

2011-01-27T22:49:00.002-05:00

Sick kids

2011-01-25T20:59:00.004-05:00

We have had a rough 2 weeks. Every child in this house is/was sick. Robert and I are hoping we are not next. First was Amber. She missed a whole week of school! Fever, cold, cough...a mess. I've never seen her sleep so much (and that girl loves to sleep!) . I think she even lost a few pounds because she had no desire to eat. I felt so bad for her. I babied her, and I think she really loved it! They're never too old for some Mommy/baby love.
Next was Alex. He was different because he has never experienced a fever before. He didn't know what was going on. Why am I freezing? Why am I sweating? Why am I shaking? Why do I feel like playing one minute, and going to bed the next? He is still home. He's been fever free for 48 hours, but his cough is throwing off his sleep. He is still not 100%.

Then there's Miss Bella. She is currently a hot mess. My clothes and I are covered with boogies, she's sneezing, coughing, laughing, crying, sleeping, restless, happy and miserable. I hope she turns a corner soon.

Like I said, we hope we are not next. I hope we have a healthy house real soon!

Ending a chapter, Starting another

2011-01-23T16:42:00.003-05:00

We sold the home that my husband spent his life in this week. It was very bittersweet.

I have to admit my guilt when I have been praying for months to get rid of 'that old house in the country' so we could move on with our lives. It wasn't until we sat at the closing table, and the elderly woman who was buying the home with her husband asked him if the tiny footprints in the cement belonged to him, that's when it really hit me. We were selling my husbands memories. His childhood. His last link to the light of his life, his grandmother.

She gave the house to "Bobby" long before I even met Robert. Bobby is what was written in the cement above his little feet. Before we left the closing, the elderly man went in his pocket, and said he had found this little pouch with some silver coins in it at the house while he was sweeping (we let them in prior to closing), and he thought we may like to have it. Robert told them after the closing that anything else they may find, is theirs to keep. Knowing what I've heard of Robert's grandmother, they could become very wealthy if they find one of her many hiding spots.

We decided to go to the house after the closing. The couple showed up. They invited us in, and my husband gave them the history of the home. How the lumber to build the house was actually trees that they cut down off the land. We walked the man the whole perimeter of the property, which took me longer than them, as I was hesitant to walk past a cow, and a goat. Goats stare. It's kinda creepy.

You would think that this woman found a gold mine in this home. The same old home I couldn't wait to get rid of. I say that shamefully now. My husband told stories of his grandmother, and they told us how in just the little time they have been spending in that small town, that everyone knew Maybelle Deaton. If you don't know, BellaMay was named after Roberts grandmother. I can only pray that my daughter turns out to be half the woman that Maybelle was. She lived a very tragic life, and always loved and feared the Lord, and never lost her faith. Not for a minute. Not when she lost a baby right after birth, not when her 10 year old boy was pitching hay, and threw the fork up on the bails and it bounced off something and came back down and killed him. Not when her 27 year old son had a car accident and died. Not when her 56 year old son died of alcoholism. Or when her husband had a series of strokes over a 2 weeks time and passed away. Robert says she never complained, or asked "Why me!", or lost her faith in God.

Now Maybelle is living through our family. By giving my husband this home, we are able to buy a home of our own, so our family can plant our roots. And our little footprints in the cement. And she will live through our home and my husband will think about her every time we make a new memory there. I love that for him.

Get Back

2011-01-18T21:35:00.003-05:00

We are in the middle of a series at church called "Get Back". It's about regaining your spiritual momentum. This series could not have come at a better time for me.

I feel very close to God. I pray more, I follow scripture more, and I rest in what I hear from God and the promises he makes me. But I haven't been very involved at my church.

I gave up my position as a leader in the children's ministry when I was pregnant with Bella. I thought I would resume shortly after I had her, but I never did. My church attendance was sporadic, and I was watching a lot online because of feedings and naps and such. Not too mention lack of sleep, plus another pregnancy, plus the loss.

Then God decided to slap me in the face, and my 5 year old son asked me why I don't take him to church that much anymore. Wow. Talk about convicted. I may have been getting fed online, but I had stopped feeding my children regularly. How irresponsible. Then He went a step further, and the first week we went back, Amber didn't want to go. She complained. She had lost her spiritual momentum, and I was to blame.

Off to church we went. My son went back into it as if he hadn't skipped a beat. He was greeted, missed, and loved. What a welcome. It took Amber maybe 2 visits.

This week was definitely one of my favorite sermons I have ever heard. I laughed, I cried, Amber giggled, she was engaged, and now we....as.a.team....are plugged back in. Baby room, here we come! I asked Amber expecting a wishy washy answer, and she was all for it!

We will be serving in the baby room at the Blakeney Campus. My sons allegiance is to Providence, but he's coming around slowly. I am so excited that we are all regaining our spiritual momentum.

"Get Back" to where you once belonged.

Look Who'sWalking!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

Look at our baby! She's walking! 3 days short of 10 months, and getting better everyday. We are so smitten by her!

Go Bella!!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

2011-01-12T23:02:00.003-05:00

" Do you know that your bodies are temples of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

I have this scripture on the fridge. My bathroom mirror. I am struggling with my weight. I'm not afraid to say it out loud. Marriage and pregnancy has got the best of me. I haven't weighed this much in over a decade. I've tried a few approaches, and so far, no progress. So I'm going where I should have gone in the first place. Gods word.

My body is my temple. I only have one, and it needs to last me a really long time. I'm the only one that can be a good Stewart to my body. This is not about vanity. I don't have a time frame. I'm not doing it for so-and-so's wedding, or bathing suit season-it's about discomfort, it's about not wanting to spend money on clothes when I have plenty of beautiful clothes-I just need to get back in them. It's about me. It's about wanting to look good for myself, and for my husband (not that he cares, because he doesn't, but he is on board, and is my best encourager). It's about feeling comfortable with myself.

So back to being pro-active, I have given my ipod a make-over with fresh music, did the cleanse, started eating better, spent some time with Jillian Michaels, and hope to slowly and steadily see results. Hey-I turned down White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake tonight. That's a pretty good start. I will update periodically-good or bad. I'll keep it real. Wish me luck.

Prepare

2011-01-10T20:26:00.003-05:00

"Prepare for the blessing you are praying for as if it's already yours"

My Pastor said this at church this week, and it really impacted me.

If you're praying to God for something, then that means you trust in Him. And you KNOW that God delivers. So as you are praying for a blessing, get prepared. Being pro-active can only benefit you. Is it really right to ask for something, and just sit back and wait for it to come to you?

"God, please give me the strength, determination and desire to lose these extra pounds." As your sitting on the couch when you could be exercising?

"Father, please bring me a man to marry." As you are not taking any steps to learn how to be an amazing wife?

"God I pray that my daughter wants to get to know you." When your not even bringing your child to church, or bringing God into your home?

"Lord, please find me a job." When all you do is search job finder in between hours on facebook?

"Father, I pray that we get this house we are trying to buy." Yet your paper work is not in order, you haven't packed a thing, and He knows in your heart that your doubtful?

Prepare for the blessing you are praying for, as if it's already yours. Be pro-active. Start with a 30 minute walk a day. Work on being the best that you can be so when you meet the right man you have a lot to offer. Bring your children to church. Pray with them and over them. Model Godly behavior in your home. Hit the pavement looking for a job. Do walk-ins. Believe that if God wants you in that house, you will be in that house all in good time.

Prepare for your blessing. Be pro-active. He will deliver.

Cleanse

2011-01-09T22:59:00.004-05:00

I just finished a 7 day cleanse. It is designed to flush your system clean of all impurities. I picked up some bad eating habits while I was pregnant-both times, and I needed to break that cycle, and prepare for a healthy diet and exercise. Day 1 and 2 were the worst because of my coffee(caffeine) withdrawal. My head was POUNDING! So, so bad. I did the cleanse, 100%, no cheating what-so-ever. Nothing but water to drink. No bread, pasta, sweets, coffee, chicken, fish, starches...pretty much veggies, fruit, and on day 5 and 6 you get to eat beef to replenish your protein. All natural. No pills. No special drinks. 10 glasses of water per day was a must. I've never seen the restroom so much in my life.

The results? I feel really good. All of my cravings are gone. I lost 6 pounds. The most rewarding part of the cleanse was that I did it! I didn't quit, or cheat! I started something, and I finished it. My husband really helped. He encouraged me all week...when I really needed it. This was a great way to kick start getting back into eating healthy. I'm glad I did it.

9 Months

2011-01-06T19:41:00.007-05:00

My baby girl is 9 months old! She's growing so fast. She's walking along the furniture, she's standing by herself without holding on, she's saying mamamamama, dadadadada, uh-oh! She's even starting to say nananananana (My Mom is in heaven). She has 5 teeth, and she's a happy, happy baby. Here are her stats:

21.4 lbs (75th-80th percentile)
28 1/2 inches (75th-80th percentile)

She's eating table food-some all by herself! Now if she would only sleep through the night-everything would be perfect!!! We love her. Couldn't imagine our life without her. I have lost my husband to another girl. A bald chubby one. What can you do. Here she is. My beautiful Bella.

Merry Christmas-kinda

2010-12-29T10:53:00.006-05:00

Yeah..so..epic fail on the Christmas card. I can't even say we tried and it didn't work out. I do have a few shots of us from Christmas Eve, but because my husband and Taylor need a hair cut, I have been forbidden to post them. Here's a few random shots from over the holiday season. We hope you had a wonderful holiday!

Why So Hard?

2010-12-28T14:59:00.003-05:00

Our family is going through a process that takes a lot of patience, and is filled with uncertainty. It's hard. It's stressful. We did have a great holiday, but of course it's always lingering in the back of our minds. Obviously, I'm not ready to go public. (nothing to do with pregnancy).

My husband passed a comment that I was rather surprised to hear out of all people, his mouth.

"Why does everything have to be so hard?"

Really? Everything? Lets see....

We met in Dec. 2007. We easily fell in love. He loves my kids. They love him. I love his son. He loves me. The kids love each other. One year later, we got engaged. 4 months later we were surrounded by all of the people we love, on a beautiful day at an outside ceremony, and by the grace of God pulled off a beautiful $15,000 wedding that we paid for ourselves without having to go in to major debt. We've never been in that financial position again. God had His hands on our wedding, and He blessed us. 2 months. Yes. 2 months after marriage we became pregnant with Miss BellaMay. Healthy pregnancy, healthy baby. Some couples wait months...even years to have children. By our 11th month of marriage, we had a beautiful baby girl.

If that doesn't define "easy", I don't know what does. We have been so blessed and our lives coming together has been a precious, smooth blessing.

So yeah, we had the miscarriage disaster. We're going through some stressful things right now. But we got where we are pretty easily, and life isn't always going to be easy. I said the same things to him, and he was ashamed that those words even left his lips. The best way to stay is positive, and thankful. The rest will fall in to place just when it is supposed to.

Watch

2010-12-22T23:45:00.002-05:00

We all people watch. But do you ever really pay attention to what's going on around you? I went to the store the other day by myself (extremely rare), and in my 10 minutes on line, I saw some pretty interesting things.

I saw what appeared to be a boyfriend hanging over a very irritated girlfriends cashier area where he was mumbling something in her ear, and she just kept repeating...."I don't care, I don't care, I don't care." Customers or no customers, this is what was going on. He wasn't giving up, and she wasn't giving in. I don't know what he did, but he was in trouble for sure. I felt bad for her that he showed up at her job. I felt bad for him that she was so unforgiving.

I saw a middle aged couple paying for their items, and I saw the husband say something to the wife as he stood there, and waited to pay. Then I saw the wife walk over to the bagging area and start to put the bags in the cart. As the husband continued to just stand there, waiting to pay. This made me angry. How rude. Who tells their wife to go load up the cart while you just stand there. Does he feel he's entitled because he's the one that works? Does he always treat her this way? Does this make her feel bad, or is this how their marriage works?

The cashier that was on my register talked and talked and talked to the lady in front of me. They were both older than me. Maybe 5-10 years. She was talking about some type of invention thing that she was thinking of. The woman thought it was a good idea. She really went in to detail, and they spoke until she walked off. Then I came up....and nothing but a Hello. No conversation. No talk of her invention (which I can't for the life of me remember at the moment.) Not one word except Hello, and Have a nice day. Wow. Is it me? Do I look mean? Uneasy to talk to? Snobby? I was almost insulted that she didn't talk to me. Freaky, I know.

I'm better off going to the store with my kids so I can't even think straight, never mind over analyze everything around me.

Identity Theft

2010-12-12T19:54:00.002-05:00

I feel...lost. My identity was defined by pregnancy for so long, that now that I am no longer pregnant, and went through all that I did, I feel like I no longer know who I am. I know I am a mother, and I know I am a wife, but I am struggling getting back to "life before pregnancy". 16 months of pregnancy-recovery-pregnancy.....you can actually forget who you were prior to it all. Don't get me wrong, my life is amazing. Marriage is more amazing than I had ever imagined. Being a mother has always been the highlight of my life. What I'm talking about is me. Who am I? Who was I prior to getting pregnant with Bella? I was a brand new wife. I was going back to teaching for the first time in several years after deciding to leave "Corporate America". I went from being a mother of 2, to a mother of 3. I had big things going on. I forget what it is like not to be constantly exhausted. I forgot what it is like to not have to watch over my body. I forgot what it is like to be able to enjoy a glass of wine with friends. I'm not sure who I am now. I'm bigger than I used to be. Not too excited about that. I've put pregnancy on the shelf for now, yet it's like an owl that no matter where I am in the room, it's stares me down constantly. It's always there...lurking....I have a baby now, which I haven't had one of those in 5 years! She's the most beautiful little love and I couldn't imagine our family without her. Is our family complete? Will I ever lose this weight? Am I being the wife and mother that God has called me to be? I was a decent writer pre-Bella. What happened to that? I have all of these un-answered questions in my head. All I can do is pray about them, and hope I head in the right direction. But right now, I just feel...lost.

21 days

2010-11-20T21:49:00.002-05:00

21 days
504 hours
30,240 minutes

Losing a baby is sad enough, taking 21 days to lose a baby is..well...devestating.

A doctors appointment with no warning....no heartbeat.

A week of loss at home.

2 procedures. 1 surgery with anesthetics and meds, one with nothing at all.

2 hospital visits, 1 lasting 2 days.

2 days of fevers.

1 infection.

1 baby that we will not get to meet, know if it was a boy or girl, hold in our arms...until we meet in heaven.

1 God that was with us the entire time, and knows what is best for our family. 1 God that we never second guess.

1 husband who has been remarkable for 21 days who I love even more each day.

1 Mommy that for the first time in 17 months isn't either pregnant, recovering from pregnancy, or sick.

1 couple who's not sure if they will try again.

1 couple that is ready to close this chapter and move on to the next.

I'll be back.....

Lost

2010-10-30T14:23:00.002-04:00

We have lost our baby. 13 week check up-no heartbeat. No signs, no clues, a complete surprise. We trust the Lord, and the decisions that He makes for our family. We rest in His decisions. Sad? Yes. Disappointed? Of course. My husband and I are closer and stronger than ever, and we will carry our family through this with God by our side. If we are meant to have another baby, it will happen. We have 4 amazing children to be thankful for. We are so blessed.

Surgery

2010-09-28T19:52:00.003-04:00

Well, another busy week. I want to get here, I think about getting here, but to no avail. I have about 9 minutes to spare, so here it goes.

About 6 months ago, Amber went to her Dad and asked him why one of her eyes is higher than the other. Something I guess we never noticed. Or if we did, we just thought that God made her that way. She never said anything until now, as she is starting to care more about her appearance. Alex asked me to bring her to the pediatrician. I did. The side of her face that her cheek bone is lower, her nose also pulls a little to that side as well. He thought it was significant enough (he has also looked at her a million times) to send her to the ENT. I took her there, and we got x-rays. You can clearly see the higher cheek bone, and the curve in her nose. Also in the x-rays, you can see that she has a mass in her nose-sinus disease. He wants to treat it with a nasal steroid spray. Ok, fine. Then he referred us to a plastic surgeon. I was done there. Call it denial. My daughter is beautiful the way she is, and as long as both sides of her face keep growing, which they are, I wanted nothing to do with a plastic surgeon. Quite honestly, I would have never brought her. Alex knew this, so he took her. I didn't even go. Still-denial. The plastic surgeon said the sinus disease could grow, and cause sleep apnea, and other issues. The curve in her nose constricts her airways, which is why she always sleeps with her mouth open. He wants to straighten her nose this summer. This will open up her airways, and hopefully halt the sinus disease. He said her cheek bone is completely cosmetic, and a decision she could make on her own as an adult. fffeeeewwww.....He also said straightening her teeth will also play a big part in her healing. SO...braces, and surgery on her nose. all at 12 years old. Talk about a lot to take in. My baby girl is getting so big. That day of surgery will be one of the most scary days of my life.

Anybody Home?

2010-09-19T20:19:00.004-04:00

I'm still alive. I have been very, very busy. Getting the two kids ready to start the school year, getting a new class room set up, and planning curriculum for a 5 day class has been challenging.
A lot of other big things are going on in this house as well. I'm not going to go on and on in this post, just going to give a sneak peak into future posts.

Amber. Oh Amber. In a few words, for medical reasons, Amber needs a nose job. Probably next summer. Scared. To. Death. So is she. We try not to talk about it too much. More details to come.

After 2 failed eye tests, Alex needed glasses. So here he is. Just when you thought he couldn't get any cuter.

Bella-WOW. She has her 6 month check up on Tuesday, so I will let you in on all of her new "firsts" then. Here is a sneak peak at her Halloween costume. You have to see it on. So adorable!

These have been helping me through some rough mornings, and afternoons. Yes. Read it again. You did read it right. I just want to say THANK YOU to the handful of people that simply hugged me and said congratulations! without of the 'smart guy' remarks. We are a happily married couple and God continues to bless us in many, many, ways.

So, I am hoping to get back on track with my blog. Lots going on, just need to find the time!

A Teenager's Prayer

2010-09-06T13:44:00.002-04:00

My brother in-law gave this to Amber on a plaque. I loved it, and wanted to share.

Each day brings new beginnings
Decisions I must make
I am the only one to chose
The road that I will take

I can choose to take the road of life
That leads to great success
Or travel down the darkened road
That leads to great distress

Please open up my eyes, dear Lord
That I might clearly see
Help me stand for what is right
Bring out the best in me

Help me, Lord, to just say "no"
When temptation comes my way
That I might keep my body clean
And fit for life each day

When my teenage years are over
I know that I will see
That life is lived its very best
With You walking next to me

A Twisted Mind

2010-08-30T22:16:00.003-04:00

A twisted mind. We all have one about....something. Whether it be about money, or food, or guilty pleasures. Mine is 'alone time'. I want something I never have, and then when I have it, I feel guilty about it. Some examples:

I'm a working mother, so I will take all 3 of my kids to the grocery store when my husband is home, just because I feel like I should be with them because I work. The end result? I leave with nothing that I actually went for because I can't even think straight. (this happened just today)

I left Bella home from my dance class tonight because she was sleeping. I got to get in the car all by myself, and just go. I felt so guilty when I got to the dance studio and my mother was sitting there waiting for Bella. :(

I let my 12 year old sleep with me on the nights that my husband works because she loves to, and I know she won't want to sleep with me much longer. The end result? I end up falling off the bed, or getting slapped in the face/head etc. because she sleeps like a lunatic.

I get dressed in the morning with my 2 big kids in the bathroom with me because they just want to hang out with me. The end result? Sometimes I have mascara on one eye. Maybe only one earring. You never know.

I actually complain that I have no time to myself, and the when I do, I say to myself.....I should have...could have.....I mean, really? I know this is a twisted mind. My sister always tells me I'm a nut with this stuff. She's right.

First Day of 7th Grade

2010-08-25T23:40:00.005-04:00

Yep. 7th grade. Where did the years go? I feel like I was just getting her ready for preschool, and now she is asking me if she can wear make-up. (No.)

Amber got up at 5:30 on her own and got in the shower, blew out her hair, straightened it, and was ready with an hour to spare. If you know my daughter I hope you are laughing your butt off right now. Amber can't get up in the morning. She usually showers at night for that reason. Amber never dries her hair. Amber rarely wears her hair down. She tends to rock the 'housewife' hair. She usually likes to wear sweatpants for comfort. When I got up at 6:15 and she was bright eyed with a towel on her head, I thought I was going to pass out. She was too cute.

She wanted this bag so bad. I can't/won't/ would never spend $55 plus tax on a book bag. Thank you Dad.
She got this lunch box at the beach. I love it, and so does she. I was proud of her for getting it, because all of the girls at her school carry Vera Bradley lunch boxes. She branched out on her own. Go girl!

I can promise you by no later than next Wednesday the girl sitting there will have her hair in a bun, and a puss on her face. I will have my camera handy too.

5 months of juicy

2010-08-20T15:14:00.005-04:00

Feelin' it

2010-08-18T10:55:00.004-04:00

The summer is coming to an end, and I can't figure out how any of us are going to be able to get up and out! We have really become some lazy daisy's around here. We have vacationed, we've been doing friendship trays all summer, sleeping late, and watching Bella grow like a weed!! Overall, we have had an amazing summer. We couldn't have asked for more.

This year, I have taken on a new position as a 5 day 3 year old teacher. I am so excited! New age, new curriculum, new classroom....and I am getting to do what I love ever more, which is work with children. I know it's my calling, it's what I am meant to do, and I hope to do it with excellence. Now, as a middle school teacher I would get fired in 2 days for man handling someone else's kid, but preschool is perfect for me. I am so excited for this new season to begin.

Feelin' it-Bella. Leaving Bella. Overall, it is a better fit for our family. I will be home at night much, much more. Job #2 will be very sporadic. I will be home by 1:30 everyday. Bella will not have to go to daycare. She will be with her daddy, and sometimes with my mother. You can't beat that. I just don't want to miss anything! I've been spoiled by being home with her all summer, and so so thankful for it. She has gotten so big and she changes almost everyday. The following year she will come to school with me a few days a week, so if I can make it through this year, I'll be alright! Look at her! Isn't she just awesome!

Do you believe in signs? 7-11

2010-08-12T12:44:00.005-04:00

How do you feel about 'signs'? Do you feel that some things are just too coincidental to be 'just by chance'? Here's my sign, you decide.

A HUGE part of who my father was was that he owned a 7-11 food store. We owned this store for 12 out of the 18 years that I spent with my father. It's not so much that he owned it, but more of how he got there. With no college education, my father had several different jobs in his younger years. I think he may have even had a coffee truck? My sister will help me with that, she knows more than I do. She actually blogged about something similar here. A bartender I believe....whatever it took to keep provision for his family. He has a true story of working your way up from the bottom. He worked for the Southland Corporation (7-11) training franchisees, which was an office job, and he also worked as a clerk in a local 7-11 store. I remember that was when he taught me how to tie a tie, and he used to let me shave next to him with a razor with a cap on it. He started to travel with this position, and after a short while, he couldn't bare to leave his wife and 4 kids alone to travel quite frequently. He was quitting the job all together, to find something that better suited his family. They didn't want to let him go. So much so, that the store that we owned was about to close, and they decided to practically give him the store (for $4000.00) in hopes that he would be able to bring it back to life. He did just that. And then some. It turned to be one of the top performing stores for many years.

The sign? Just when you're not sure if your loved ones are still with you....you have a baby girl, and she weighs 7 pounds, 11 ounces. Coincidence? You decide. I know what I think.

Alex and the Summer

2010-08-11T10:15:00.005-04:00

I realized I haven't blogged about Alex in a while. He has been having a great, busy summer. He started out his summer with 4 weeks of summer camp. Then he had 12 private swim lessons with Miss Morgan, and he is now swimming on his own! In the mix, we went to Myrtle Beach for a week on a family vacation/dance nationals. He just got back from a four day weekend in NY. He is about to walk out the door with Robert to go for a swim while I mop the floor. He is having a great time. He's getting so big, and I am so excited for him to go to preschool 5 days this year! Here are a few pics from the past few days. Last night we fell asleep on the couch together watching Home Alone. That has never happened before. Our night usually gets cut short when he can't be still. But last night, he did great. I woke up to Robert picking up Alex, and putting him in his bed.

He's a great big brother to Bella. He really loves her. He's such a vibrant little boy!

Sweet Escape

2010-08-10T08:57:00.005-04:00

Robert and I went to Charleston this weekend. We spent our honeymoon there, and we just love it! It was our first adult getaway since we had Bella. We left Friday morning, and came home around 7pm on Sunday. It was a perfect long weekend, but not too long to be away from the baby. My big kids were in NY. Friday, we had a nice lunch on Sullivan's Island, went to the beach for a little while, and retreated back to the room for 13 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It was amazing. This house suffers from severe sleep deprivation. We were out eating breakfast at the farmers market in Charleston by 8am. We treated ourselves to Starbucks every morning! Then we headed over to Folly beach, and other than to sleep, we never left there for the next 2 days. We LOVE that beach! We are already planning a family trip to Folly beach for next summer!

Robert and I are pretty simple people, and we had the best time and laughed to tears over and over again on this little getaway. I love being married!

Slow Down Baby Girl

2010-08-04T21:45:00.005-04:00

Sitting in the tub. Sitting in the high chair. Sitting in the shopping cart. All at 4 1/2 months. It's going too fast.

Slow down Bella. Mommy isn't ready for all of this.

Love it(s)-Diaper Bags

2010-08-03T23:17:00.005-04:00

Bag #1. I registered for this bag, and it was a gift from my friends at school. WOW. Let me just say that you could go away for 5 solid days with an infant and just this bag, and have everything you need-yet it's not grossly huge. It's like a clown car that stuff just keep coming out and coming out, and your like...is this ever going to end? So many compartments and space, and it's durable (I brought it to the beach, and it's still in perfect condition).It's made by JJ Cole and it's lovely. I give it 5 stars and would recommend it to anyone and everyone that is having or has a baby. You definitely need a bag like this, especially with an infant. It's a dream come true.

This bag was given to me from 2 of my girlfriends. This bag is a show stopper. It's a one of a kind, original design. Everybody asks me where I got this bag. My friend Katie knows of this store in Hickory, that she and my friend Rachel got to pick out each and every piece of fabric, and decide exactly where on the bag it was going to go. I mean down to the straps. The changing pad that is in it as well. I knew she has done this before, so when she asked me what I needed for Bella, with no shame, I replied: "A diaper bag". I wanted one. They are pricey-I would say over $100. But I LOVE IT. It has plenty of space, and it's beautiful-however I would not bring this bag to the beach. I kinda hate to set it on the floor, but I do sometimes. It's special to me, and I think they did an amazing job on it. The picture does it no justice. Next time you see me, check it out. You'll love it too. It's made by Ella Blu. At least that's what it says on the bag.

Happy Tears

2010-08-03T00:25:00.004-04:00

Last night was Amber's awards banquet for dance. It was at a park, and the kids had sooooo much fun. Apparently, so did Robert because his legs are sore from a few killer games of kickball!

Anyway, if you were dancing for 2 years or more, you received an award for how many years you have been dancing. Amber received her 9th year award!! She started at 2. I wish I had a picture to post. So, so beautiful. There were also a few specialty awards. These awards had the dance studio 'mascot' on them, and they were personalized with the children's names. It is a great way to honor the kids in special areas. I had no idea that Amber was getting one! It went something like this.....

" This dancer joined in with a group of girls that have been dancing together for 5 years. There were lots of tears, and struggles, and progress, and determination. She has come so far in this year, and I am so, so proud of her! And this dancer is.......Amber Delemo!"

She got the 'Most Improved' award. Naturally, I did what any mother would do. I cried. I did my best to have a quick recovery and told myself I was being crazy. Until I looked over at her father, and his eyes were welled up too. Such a proud, proud moment. I was in the car with her every Tuesday night when she broke down in tears saying she can't do it. I encouraged her. I told her I believed in her. I told her to believe in herself. I pushed her to persevere, and not to quit. Miss Charyl let her know that she believed in her. She told her to wipe her tears, and go get help from the other dancers. She gave her some tough love. She made sure that she knew that by the first competition, she would be dancing with these girls. And she did. And she has had her strongest, most productive year of dance that she has ever had in her life.

We are so proud of our Shining Star!!! I can't even post a picture of the award because her very proud father took it. When she called papa and told him, he asked her to bring the award to NY with her next weekend so he could see it. We are so happy that Amber finally found a school and an amazing teacher that will push her to be the very best that she can be.

Summer Ideas Part II-Goo

2010-07-29T20:53:00.006-04:00

This stuff is great for so many reasons. Water and cornstarch. That's it. Slowly add the water, and stir. Don't over pour. This stuff is so cool. It's wet, but it's dry, it's hard, but it's soft. It's liquid, but it's solid. It looks like a terrible mess, but it's not. If your kids drip it through the house, just let it dry, and vacuum, or sweep. It's like dust. If the kids stood away and let their hands dry, it would turn into chalk. Most importantly, the kids LOVE it!!!! Even the big kids! It's hard to explain, you just have to try it!

I walked past Amber's room, and this is what I found.

Miss "Ness"

2010-07-27T22:34:00.005-04:00

That's one of Bella's nicknames. Quite honestly, my kids were calling her Miss fatness, and I told them they are not allowed to call her fat, so she is otherwise known as Miss "Ness". Anyway, she had her 4 month check-up today. She's doing great! Her stats: 25 inches long-80%, 95% head circumference, and when he went to chart her weight....well.....she put the chart to shame. Bella weighs 16lbs 12 ounces. Which makes me giggle because Amber weighed 20 lbs at 1 year old! She's rolling over from back to belly, and belly to back, she's razzing, squealing and laughing, smiling and cooing, holding her head up great and she's right where she needs to be. She got 2 shots today, and did awesome. She is very sleepy tonight, as you can see. We are so in love with her and so blessed to have her!! Happy 4 months baby girl!

Vacation

2010-07-22T10:55:00.010-04:00

Last week, we went to the beach. Amber had Nationals with the dance studio, and we made it into a family vacation. We had a great time. Bella was awesome. She made it through dance, the beach, and the pool with little to no issues. She can hang with the best of them. Robert spent hours in the ocean with Taylor. My sister and her family were there, and a family that we grew up with. We did breakfast together, dinners together, we had so much fun that when it was over, I cried. It took me two days to perk back up. Big Al (Amber and Alex's grandfather) was there, and we spent a day with him on the beach too. It's hard to say goodbye to people you love. My only regret is that I didn't take more pictures. I am going to have to get some from my Mom and sister. Here are just a few pics of what was for me a slice of heaven.

What's in a Name?

2010-07-20T22:42:00.003-04:00

Have you ever really thought about the fact that you are in control of giving someone the name that will be with them for the rest of their life? That's a pretty big responsibility. I grew up in the north, and I am raising my kids in the south. Let me tell you-what a difference. I went to school with Tommy, Ralphie, Jason, Jimmy, Michael, Kristine, Michelle, Tricia, Giovanna, Nicole.......my friends children's names are Julianna, Angelina, Kara, Morgan, Ryan, Anthony, Christian...you get the picture.

Working at the preschool, I have heard the most unique names in my life. A lot of little girls have maiden names as their middle names here. Wilson, Fletcher, Slate, etc. I know a lot of little girls that have 2 first names. Mary Morgan, Sarah Emily, Selby Kate...etc. Lots of bold biblical names. A few other names that could get a boy beat up one day. It makes me hope that my kids grow up to love their names, and are proud to say them out loud. Here's a small explanation of each:

Taylor Storm-I obviously didn't name him, but I know for a fact he thinks he has the greatest middle name ever. However, he does have his moments when he wishes he was named after Robert.

Amber Michelle-First name-no meaning other than the fact that it took 9 months for us to agree on a name. Michelle is after Alex's Uncle Mike.

Alexander John-This was non negotiable. Something Alex has wanted since the day he was old enough to even think about having kids. To have a son, and for him to be the third. Luckily, I really like the name-so that was no problem.

BellaMay Rose-BellaMay-Robert's grandmother's name was MayBelle, so we flipped it. Rose is my mother's name.

I am the only one of 4 kids who doesn't have a family name. It used to bother me, but it's really not a big deal. Hopefully Amber will feel the same.

Big responsibility-naming someone. Hey-at least I did better than Apple, or Knoxx.

The Power of Persuasion

2010-07-10T08:59:00.004-04:00

Their Own Time to Shine

2010-07-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

As I walk around with my kids in tow, I can't tell you how often people are shocked by their age range. Most women want to have their babies, and be done with it. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. My mother had 4 kids in 5 years. God bless her. I am just not built for all of that chaos. I would be in a room with rubber walls by now. I think most women are secretly thinking when they see me....Is she nuts? A 12 year old and a new born? I think people even thought that when there was 7 1/2 years between Alex and Amber. I know, I know, I will have a child in my house for a loooong time coming. I'm fine with that. I'm not looking for the age of 18 when I can push them out the door. I hope they all stay with me until they get married. As long as they get married by a reasonable age, that is. I love the gaps between my kids. They all have their own individual time to be the star of the show.

Amber was an only child for 7 1/2 years. We did so many things together. By the time she was 2, She had been to every show on ice, Disney World, The circus, Gymboree, Kinder music, dance class-you name it-we did it. We went to preschool together. She attended, I worked there. She got sooooo much one on one time with me. It was completely over done. Hey-I was 24 and a new mother. No, I did not make the same choices for my son. This was all way too excessive, and to this day she is pretty high maintenance when it comes to keeping busy and entertained. But I wouldn't change our life together. I only wish she remembered even half of it.

Alex-His time to shine has been while Amber is at school. Much more low key-he is a different child. He can't keep still for a half hour T.V. show-never mind a circus, or on line at Disney. So we share our special time together differently. We race matchbox cars down the hallway. We play Guess Who? We go on lunch dates. We go to the park. We swim. We play spy, and karate. We make playdough. We too go to preschool together, and come home together (at the same school! He had Amber's 3's teachers this year!) We go on bike rides. We race to the car, and he tells me: "Mom, only boys win races, not girls!!" He may not remember all of the details, but he will remember how much time we spent together-Mother and son.

Bella-Bella is my "li'l Mama". Right now we snuggle in the evenings, and in the early mornings. But if your following the pattern here, As I am dropping my son off for his first day of kindergarten (not this year, next year), I will hug and kiss my big boy, drop my big girl off at her last year of middle school, and my baby and I will head off to preschool-together-at the same school, and it will be her "Own Time to Shine".

To each is own, and there is no right or wrong way, but the way I was given my children was especially tailored for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Love it-The series

2010-07-08T11:15:00.003-04:00

I did a summer series, without planning it. So I decided to do a "Love it" series. Here's post #1.

A summer purse. This one is made by Coach. I don't know if you can consider it a wrislet, because it's bigger than your average wristlet, but it's a perfect, perfect summer bag. The truth is, it's my 12 year old daughter's, but I have kidnapped it. It was her Easter gift from her grandfather. It looks so cute with just about anything. In this what appears to be an itty bitty bag, is a small wallet (more like a credit card holder), my camera in the case, my phone, 2 lip glosses, personal items, a pen, and some mints. What else could you possibly need? It fits in your diaper bag, and easily pulls out when you are kid free. I "Love it!"

Perspective on portion control

2010-07-07T08:36:00.003-04:00

I am doing Weight watchers. In doing this, I have learned a lot about food, and portion control. For my height, current weight, and goal weight, I am allotted 22 points per day. When you break those points down in to meals, the portion control is quite shocking! This meal you see is 6 points. This is a 'Smart One' that has the weight watchers points right on the front of the box. It is enchiladas, in case you can't tell. I put it on a dinner plate so you really see the portion size. The salad is free-no points. I don't know about you, but I can throw down more food than that! Double the enchiladas, and double that rice! If I eat 3 meals the size shown below per day, I have 4 points left for snacks. It's not a whole lot of food for the whole day. But that is what it is going to take for me to lose these extra baby pounds. I have plateaued at 13 pounds. I have to figure out a way to get over that hump.

Anyway, next time you go to heap food on your plate-remember this photo! Portion Control!

Speak Truth

2010-07-06T20:19:00.004-04:00

We were leaving the house the other day to go to my brothers for a BBQ. It was the 4th, actually. There was a car stuck, blocking the exit at the gate. She directed us to the other gate. Apparently, their car was stuck. I knew this, because I had come home about a half hour before, and they were sitting there. I did wonder why no one had pushed the car out of the way, but then it left my mind until we passed it again. I kept driving. My husband said...maybe we should stop. I've worked on cars, I can probably help them. I blew it off. Well, I tried to. I justified my selfishness by saying "They've been there a while. I'm sure they have a plan. They are probably waiting for someone." I kept driving. He said it again..."I might be able to help them. We should just stop and see." I ignored his request, pulled out of our neighborhood, and I headed down the road. My husband said..."That was very ungodly".

Ouch.

I tried to turn it into a light hearted moment, and laugh it off. He stood firm. He said it again. "That was VERY ungodly". Completely rebuked. He did not crack so much as a grin either. I was clearly disappointing my husband, and he was making sure I knew I was disappointing God.

I am sure you can guess what happened next. I turned the car around to go see if he could help. He sat their quietly, while I did what I should have done in the first place.

I am so glad I have a husband that will speak truth into my life, even if it's not what I want to hear. I hope he is always so bold. I hope I can be the same way when I come face to face with a circumstance where I need to speak truth into someones life.

Summer Ideas for Children-Sensory Table

2010-07-01T17:16:00.003-04:00

Once school is over, I think we all wonder what we are going to do all summer with our children. Alex went to 4 weeks of summer camp, Amber is at dance practice hard core getting ready for Nationals in Myrtle Beach. Alex also started swim lessons today. Tomorrow we start delivering Friendship Trays for the summer. It sounds like a lot, but I couldn't tell you how many times I hear "What are we doing today?"

I made my own sensory table for Alex. Being a preschool teacher, you learn so many great ideas to keep your kids busy and stimulated. Believe it or not, Amber enjoys it too. You can buy one, but they are a lot of money, and if you have a rubber maid and 2 chairs, and some beach toys, your good to go. I had water in ours since spring, but today I switched it over to rice. Yes, it's a little messy, but you can't leave all of the mess for the preschool teachers. :)

You can also do sand, shaving cream, and anything else you can think of that feels good between little fingers. Your children will LOVE it. If you can set it up somewhere covered, it's great for rainy days too. Or set it in the grass, and then there's no mess!!

Hey! Look What I Found!!!!!

2010-06-29T16:27:00.001-04:00

Legacy

2010-06-28T19:02:00.004-04:00

I knew this man. He was married with 4 children. 3 girls, and one boy. When he was a child, his life was...well...of poor quality. He never harped on it, but he decided that his family that he raised would be different. Better. This man was amazing. He lived life to the fullest. He never complained, and he never boasted. He treated his wife like a princess, whether she treated him like a prince, or not. He taught his children how to swim, ride bikes, drive cars, and set a great example of what a husband and father should be. He wasn't perfect, but he did his very best. He brought life to everyone around him. He put friends up in hotels during hurricane Gloria. He paid people's mortgage if need be. He raised his kids to have a great work ethic, good hearts, and an amazing sense of family. All this while, he was building his legacy. Big breakfasts, lots of swimming, horse riding, and annual trips to the families favorite place. Constant weekend company, extended vans on 'field trips' with his kids and their friends. This was a man that devoted his life to smiling, and making sure it was contagious. Everyone was happier when they were around him. He just had that way. This man also smoked cigarettes. He spent his 48th birthday in the hospital, being told he was terminally ill, and he would be leaving his princess, and his children alone. 7 months later, he died. The day before his wifes birthday. They took everything he taught them, and held on to it so tight. They all relocated, but stayed together. The family lives on just the way he built his legacy, just the way he would have wanted it to be. His name was Daniel E. Corbett.

Are you building your legacy? Do you know and realize that life can be taken from you at any given moment if it is your time? Are you making the very best of your life, and contributing to the world and all of the people in your life that God has blessed you with? Are you living a life with purpose? Will you be leaving a legacy? It's never too late to build your legacy. If you wake up each morning with the attitude that you are on a mission to build your name and leave a legacy, you will be unstoppable.

Props

2010-06-27T22:50:00.003-04:00

I got flowers today from Robert. When I asked what they were for, he said "Because I love you."

Recently he said to me, "I love you. I hope I tell you that enough, because I really do love you, and your a great wife. "

Don't get me wrong, if he's watching T.V. or playing a game, he goes deaf just like a lot of other men, but he does do nice things for me too.

On Mother's Day, I opened up a gift bag with perfume, and cream, and shower gel. I thought it was a great gift. And then I looked more closely at the bottle.....

Do you see the name of the perfume? Bella. How stinkin' cute is that. That in itself was the best "first Mother's Day" with Bella gift I could have ever gotten. And the bonus? It smells great. Not to mention it's made by MaryKay, so he had to do some research, and order it.

How can you honor your spouse or significant other today? A card? flowers? A hand delivered Starbucks? Breakfast in bed? Remember to always show thanks and appreciation in your everyday hectic life. You'll be glad you did, and will probably regret it if you don't. It keeps life alive and kickin'.

Summer Fruit

2010-06-25T10:33:00.000-04:00

Summer fruits. Gotta love 'em. I love almost all fruit. I feel no love for apricots, but otherwise, it's all good. My kids are pretty good too. Amber always wants fresh fruit in her lunch. 'Please give me juicy snacks Mom'. I always have a heaping bowl of fresh fruit at my house. I don't make desserts with it, we just eat it as it is.

Hey, I bet you don't have a country husband that pulled out a half of a small watermelon, and just ate it with a spoon like a bowl of ice cream. I love him, but he definitely does surprise me sometimes. Behavior like that would warrant a smack in the back of the head at my house.

This would have to be my ultimate favorite use of summer fruits. To me, that just looks so delicious. My favorite summer fruit is definitely- the peach. Hands down. Yours?

Summer nails

2010-06-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

This photo of all of the dark colors is my happy place when it comes to nail polish. I'm talking all. year. round. If I go for a pedicure, or polish my toes at home on the first most beautiful day of summer, I'm still reaching for the deep, dark colors. I can't explain why, I don't even know myself. I think about switching it up, but I don't. Until this year. I bought hot pink, and turquoise (when was the last time you heard that word?) nail polish. I have rocked them both, and actually got a lot of compliments on both, but mostly the blue. Now that I've taken the plunge, I kinda like it. It is summery, and fun. And I am learning that your polish isn't always going to match with your outfit. (but your handbag should). I guess I'll 'shelf' my deep hues for a few months. Hey, I'm just thankful I can reach my toes.

Summer hair

2010-06-23T00:03:00.001-04:00

Oh how I wish I had 'get up and go' hair. Just not in the cards for me. Here's my issue with summer hair. I refuse to spend the time with the blow dryer, the curling iron....blah..blah...blah... only to decide to go for a swim, or a walk with the kids, and it all become nothing but a waste of time and energy. However, I can't rock summer do's. When I throw my hair up, or braid it, or scrunch it, it just looks like 'who did it and ran'. 5 minute hair for me, looks like 5 minute hair on me-literally. Here are some summer hairstyles that I like, but can't seem to achieve. At least not in 5 minutes. What's your quick summer hair fix? No 'bump it's please.

Summer shoes

2010-06-22T09:41:00.007-04:00

Summer shoes. Who doesn't love them? I haven't bought shoes in a long time. Here's my issues. I either have high heels, or plain casual flip flops. Nothing in between. With 4 kids, one being 4 and one being 3 months, my high heels are collecting dust, and only come out on date night. Even at that, my husband isn't the tallest guy in town, so even for date night, I wish I had some pretty shoes that didn't have a minimum of a 3 inch heels. Here are a few styles that I like. Rocker chick, I know, but hey....if the shoes fits. The gray ones...I know the name of them but right now it has escaped me. Don't knock 'em, they actually look really nice with summer dresses and shorts. LOVE the white ones with the colored beads. The enclosed black ones-curious to see how they look on with something other than pants.

What are you wearing this summer?

Pictures

2010-06-21T12:05:00.004-04:00

This amazing drawing was Roberts Father's Day gift. WOW. I gave a co-worker at preschool a photo of Bella sometime in April, and she has been working on it since then. It came matted and framed as well. He LOVED it. I love it. What an amazing artist! And an amazing gift if I may say so myself. Father's day was a bit hectic, but I try to honor Robert as a father all year round. He's great to all of our kids just like they are all kids. (Just ask Alex when he gets disciplined, or Amber when she gets grounded)

Bella's first trip to the pool. She liked it. She's so chill. She went in the water with no worries or fears. I love that about her.

I just took this about 15 minutes ago. She's rolling over now. She'll roll across the room when you turn your head for a second or two! Look at that FACE!

Accountability Part II

2010-06-18T09:07:00.003-04:00

So, I figured I would go with this post since I am obviously still failing in certain areas *gulp*. Why not an update? Lets see where I'm at.

The blog-still failing. I think about it. I look at it everyday. It seems ever since pregnancy/Bella my creativity has left the building. I could blog about family every single day, but that was never the sole intention of this blog. I also enjoy giving insight on who I am. I guess right now in this season of my life-it's not about me. I hope I can get back to my creative writing. Praying about it.

The weight-down 12 pounds and counting. 13 to go to get to pre-pregnancy, and 18 to go to get to pre-marriage. I'm proud, and happy with the process. Who would have thought?-I do still have a waist.

I have written and sent out almost all of my letters. I have to print some pictures, and get those out, but the letters were most important. I have received some great phone calls in response, and some didn't respond at all. That's ok. I didn't send them to get a response, I sent them because I had some things that I needed to say.

The house-I'm doing better. After folding laundry for 2 hours one day, I decided that it just had to stop. Overall I am feeling better, Bella is sleeping through the night, the more weight that comes off the less tired I feel, and in turn, the house is being kept up. Perfect? no. Absolutely not. But better. Robert has been a big help. He's a great hands on partner and father. I love him more and more as our life and family grows. E-Harmony folks-it works. lol.

Church-I have joined a volunteer team called 'The Bullpen'. This commitment brings me to church every week at the 9:00am service, within the first few rows. I'm fully engaged, and made a commitment to be there. This volunteer role is ideal for me because I don't have to leave Bella in the nursery for 2 services. I have her timed perfectly to where she doesn't have to eat while she's there. When she gets bigger, I will be able to serve more.

Bella is just-a-smilin', and baby talkin', and rolling over.....she is such a happy, lovely, beautiful gift from God.

Hopefully you will be seeing me again, and again, and again here...if your still around that is.

Well, I mean, I have been busy

2010-06-17T16:49:00.004-04:00

Baby Talk

2010-06-11T00:49:00.005-04:00

Lexi: "Aye! oh! take the picture already!"

Bella, "Man, I need a weave."

2 months

2010-05-19T23:19:00.005-04:00

Bella went to the doctor today. Here are her statistics.

12.8 lbs

90% head

90%height

95% weight

My biggest. baby. ever.

12, and 2 months. I love my girls.

Gifts of the Heart

2010-05-18T10:13:00.007-04:00

My big girl turned 12 on Saturday. Her BFF's got dropped off at about 2:30 that day. We started the day with about a 4-5 inch hair cut. Then we headed to Chuck E Cheese (I guess I can think of worse places a 12 year old could want to go for their birthday). Then we headed to Outback for dinner, and dessert at TCBY. She said she had the 'Best Birthday Ever'. I guess all of those over priced huge toddler birthday parties were a waste of money, considering that she doesn't even remember them (note to new Mom's).

I was so impressed and touched by her gifts from her BFF's Bonny and Sam. They went Thursday evening and painted the rock at her school.

This frame say "there aren't enough words to describe you, these are just a few...don't ever change who you are, I love you and your personality"

A few of the words are: Hip Hop, fashion, loving, cheerful, best friend...it's sooo cute. This was from Sam. She also made her a scrap book that's half full, so they can add to it over the years.

Bonny gave her this Best Friend frame with a pic of the three of them in it sporting their BFF shirts. So cute! She also gave her a Vera Bradley purse in her favorite color-purple. Cookie and brownie mix-she loves both.

The girls really made her birthday so special. I am so thankful that she has Bonny and Sam in her life.

The Frazzled Female

2010-05-13T10:22:00.002-04:00

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am perpetually frazzled. Ask Alex's teachers. I forgot his lunch yesterday. :( luckily I had a banana for myself, and his teacher shared with him as well. Ask my sister, who re-reminds everything about dance. I can write it down, but that doesn't mean I always remember it. I'm a little to 'chill' for a woman with a husband, 4 kids, & 2 jobs. I get it all done, but sometimes by the time I do, I'm beyond frazzled.

When my small group from church asked if we wanted to read a book together, and they suggested this one, I was thrilled!! I ordered it as soon as I got home. "Finding God's Peace in Your Daily Chaos" is written across the front of the book. If I 'had it like that' I would have ordered one for both of my sisters, and some friends too. I am just going to have to pass it along when I am finished with it. I encourage anyone who would like to read this book to read along with us. I will be more than happy to forward discussion notes and such.

This should be a great read!

7 weeks

2010-05-09T20:19:00.004-04:00

Look at my baby. Isn't she lovely? She is growing so fast. I love her nose, and her lips, and her pretty eyes...I love everything about her. She is such a blessing. Her name fits her perfectly....Beautiful.

Bucket List

2010-05-06T23:55:00.002-04:00

On my bucket list, one of my hopes is to learn a choreographed dance, preferably to a Michael Jackson song. Guess what? Opportunity has slapped me in the face! Amber's dance studio is having a "Mom's" dance. My sister has been going for a few weeks now. I didn't think much of it because I had just had Bella. Now that life has settled down a bit, I went to my first class tonight. Everyone knows much more than me obviously, but I held my own! The dance is great! It's not an 'old lady' dance at all. It's so hip and fun! I'm excited about it. We will be performing in the recital. That I'm not too sure about. I have never performed on a stage before in my life. I hope I don't chicken out. I can't chicken out. This should be an interesting experience!

Whatcha think?

2010-05-04T13:57:00.005-04:00

Well...does he look like me?

Accountability

2010-05-03T22:51:00.002-04:00

I have had a bunch of things on my mind that have been self inflicted, yet, have been bothering me. I need to be held accountable. I had someone say to me recently, "I don't really want to tell anyone what I'm doing because I'll be held accountable for it." That stuck with me. Accountability is a good thing. You need it. So here it goes:

I have abandoned my blog. I know it. I think about it. It bothers me. I am hoping I'm just in a writers slump, because I do love writing it. I AM going to do better.

It is my fault I allowed myself to gain extra weight during this pregnancy. Not tiny Bella's. I have 25+ pounds to lose, and I could use all the support I can get. If you see me eating junk, slap it out of my hands and let it hit the ground. Please. Make sure I don't try to use the 2 second rule either.

I have let my house go a bit. It never seems to be clean to me. Or it's short lived. Or some of it is clean, and some of it isn't. It bothers me, yet, I'm not making the best effort to do something about it. I'm very tired since I've gone back to work. Frankly, I don't want to do it. I can do better.

I have gotten to used to watching church on line. I was home for 6 weeks with Bella. I went once with her and it was a disaster. This week was the first week she could've gone to the nursery, and when my husband told me to go back to bed after he came home after working 12 hours and he would take care of the kids, not only did I do it, I slept until 2pm. It bothers me that my kids see inconsistency in our church attendance. I want better for them.

I have been meaning to hand write a few letters to some people, and send out some pictures, and guess what? Hasn't happened.

I have the best excuse ever. Her name is Bella. My time with her is precious, and far more important than the things I've mentioned, however they need to be fixed.

I figured saying them out loud is a good start.

One Year Strong

2010-04-25T11:42:00.012-04:00

Today is our first anniversary. What an amazing year! We were married a year ago today, we went on our first vacation together to Charleston, we got pregnant! And we had a beautiful baby girl last month. Not to mention all of the great little things of everyday life. We have been blessed over and over again. I walked into the house to all of these flowers. He bought all of the flowers, and made the bouquets himself. They were all in different rooms. There were also cards everywhere. Even in the fridge! Last night, Robert took me on a cruise/dinner on Lake Norman on the Catawba Queen. The weather was bad, but we didn't care. We had a great time anyway. He had them announce our anniversary over the loud speaker! He really made our first anniversary so special.

We talked about our year, and what we can do better for the next year. I am one lucky girl!

Baby Phat

2010-04-18T22:05:00.003-04:00

Bella has left me chubby. And that's okay, that's what babies do. This particular baby has left me chubbier than the rest. No it's not her fault, it's mine. Will I get it off? I don't know. I did with the other ones, but I wasn't over the dreaded 35. I can't stress about it, it's not even the point of this post.

Being this weight reminds me of my teenage years. I weighed what I weigh now, back then. I wish I had a pic to scan. Overweight, big glasses, and frizzy hair. Needless to say my self confidence was not up to par. All of my friends were beautiful. They all had boyfriends-not me. They all had prom dates-I had to bring my friends brother. They could all share clothes-not me. They wore bikini's, I wore a one piece and shorts over it.

I was overweight due to bad eating/drinking habits. I want better for my kids. I monitor what they eat. I don't let them eat after dinner unless we are having a 'family dessert'. I pack their lunch boxes with fresh fruit and raw veggies (with ranch dressing-I'm not that bad!) I don't keep junk in the house. My kids have parents that were once and still have the potential to be overweight. I can't ignore their genetic make up. I don't deprive them of anything, but I don't keep it all in arms reach either. It's hard enough to be a kid in this world. If I can avoid certain things that I know can bring down their self confidence, I will. Plus giving your children healthy eating habits is a good thing. I don't want them to have to feel like I did many times growing up.

P.S.- no worries about my not so glamorous teen years. I always say I am very happy that I am a beautiful woman, rather than a beautiful teen. I'll be a woman a lot longer than those awkward teen years that are long gone!

Car Seats

2010-04-12T22:58:00.003-04:00

This post is stemming from a little voice in my head that will not leave me alone. I want people to comment with their opinion on the subject (please).

Twice a year I have to take continuing education classes for work. I took one in the fall that would manage to haunt me for months and months to come. The subject at hand was car seats. It was not a debate, no one gave their opinion, but the statement went like this:

"Car seats are called car seats for a reason. They are just that. Seats for the car. People have lost the definition over the years, and use them for carrying their babies, letting them nap in them....etc...etc. Babies are meant to be held. Bouncing a baby off of your leg in a heavy car seat with their head banging back and forth is not meant to be. Babies get flat heads in the back from too much time spent in their car seat. Leave your car seat in the car where it belongs."

I don't know about you, but I did carry my first 2 children around in their car seats. I let them sleep in them. I had a snap-and -go-stroller. I also had (have) travel systems where the car seat clips right into the stroller. Then there was this statement, and then there is Bella. Her car seat hasn't left my car since it was clipped in. I take her out everywhere we go. It's not always going to work out, but I'm guessing for the most part, it will. This is all stemming from a statement made by a stranger. An opinion I suppose. Isn't it funny how some things can hit you like a ton of bricks, and other things you can just let roll?

What do you think?

P.S.- Both of my car seat toting babies are bright and beautiful with perfectly round heads.

Define 'Beautiful'

2010-04-08T15:29:00.002-04:00

My son told me today that my nails look beautiful. From now on I will be taking his compliments with a grain of salt.

First Bath

2010-04-07T08:45:00.005-04:00

Bella FINALLY was able to take her first bath! It took longer than I recall for her umbilical cord to fall off. I couldn't wait to give her a bath. 18 days old with no bath was starting to really yuck me out! But then again I am guilty of over-bathing my kids. They bathe every day. Sometimes twice. Amber had some major dry skin-which was inflicted by me. Anyway, Bella really enjoyed her first bath. I remember Alex and Amber cried and screamed. Bella just chilled out. Even when Alex squeezed the wash cloth over her face! She's a great baby-and now she's so fresh and so clean.

Flag Football

2010-03-29T06:36:00.006-04:00

My little man started flag football. He's doing his best not to tackle...he's fighting the urge as best as he can. He has only gone 2 times so far. He is a bit obsessed with his mouth piece. I am hoping that will pass. I went to watch this Saturday for the first time. I was giggling the whole time. He's so cute. I think he is the only 4 year old. The age range is 4-6. They actually have a full game with 4 10 minute quarters, a ref, the whole 9 yards. It's really cute. Kids crying left and right, running in the wrong direction...but hey, you have to start somewhere.

Big Alex is the coach (there's 2). I'm not sure who the experience is more beneficial for-him, or my son. I'm not sure what was more interesting to watch-him, or my son. Kids jumping all over him-he doesn't really take to kids too much unless they are his, or my sisters kids. Lots of patience-not one of his strong suits. sweaty little boys pulling on him and grabbing him (kind of a germ-a-phobe)-so I was happy to see how good he's doing as 'Coach Alex'.

Here are some pics.

I can't help myself...

2010-03-25T15:06:00.003-04:00

This one's for you, Dad

2010-03-24T10:24:00.002-04:00

Better late then never. Love You Dad.

Baby Love

2010-03-22T10:03:00.008-04:00

She's here. We are in love. BellaMay Rose was born on Friday, March 19th 2010 at 6:17pm.
They inserted a pill to soften my cervix before they gave me the IV drip to start labor. I never made it to the drip. My water broke at 4:55pm, and she was here by 6:17pm. 1hr and 22 mins. She was pale and quiet. She scared me, but she snapped out of it pretty quickly, and she is so beautiful. We are home, and settled in. I feel really good and tired, but a good tired. Lovin' life. Lovin' marriage. Lovin' family. Lovin' Bella.

The Big Day

2010-03-18T18:18:00.002-04:00

I am heading to the hospital tomorrow to have Bella. We are so excited! Tomorrow is her actual due date, so I guess it was meant to be! We just ate dinner, and after I throw a few last minute items in my bag, I am going to get a good night sleep. Robert and I got up at 5am today, and did as much as we could to get things done so when we bring Bella home, we can just enjoy her. My mother will be here for 10 days to help. A couple of people have offered to bring us meals. I am looking forward to trying other peoples recipes!

I can't wait to meet my daughter. I pray for a healthy baby girl, and a quick delivery. 3.24 hours with Amber, and 2.12 hours with Alex. Maybe I can beat my records...I hope. Either way, tomorrow is going to be an amazing day!

St. Patty's Day

2010-03-17T20:42:00.004-04:00

We are Irish. My dad was all Irish. Pale, light eyes, and when he was young, that strawberry blond hair. He loved for all of us to be festive for the holiday. My Mom still wears her green every year. Amber went all out this year. They took a picture of her for the yearbook. She looked so cute.

I always pick the St. Patrick's Day party at school. Snack and drinks. Anyone who has preschoolers, enjoy homemade treats while you can, because once they hit elementary school, snacks have to be store bought only. This is what I did for Alex's class this year.

Funfetti cupcakes with green icing and sprinkles.

Bottled water featuring Spongebob with a drop of green food coloring.

It was a hit. The kids loved it! Except for Alex, because he wasn't there!!! Remember!!!! He went away and I had volunteered for the party back in September! How was I to know!

But guess who just got home? He didn't make it. He did good considering he has never been anywhere without at least one of his parents. I'm so glad to have him back! It's terrible to hear your little man pleading with you to come get him! Dad met Papa half way, and he's home sweet home.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Gone Deaf

2010-03-15T19:53:00.004-04:00

I was thinking that I had gone deaf. Nope. It's just that my son is out of town. He went to the beach with Papa until Friday. Big kids are different, and self sufficient. No one needs me around here right now. I have more free time than I care to have. I know I will be biting my tongue soon enough for saying that, but I am just not used to no one saying..Mommy...Mom...Mom.....Mom...Mom I'm thirsty Mom I'm hungry Mom can you help me with this Mom Amber kicked me out of her room Mom I'm going poopie I'll call you when I'm done Mom do we have any errands to run today? Mom call my name and then I'll come in and dance Mom your under arrest, Mom watch this......nothing. Silence. He only left yesterday. I feel lost without him. He drives me crazy, yet I don't know how I will make it until Friday.

On the flip side, this is a perfect week for 'Mommy-Amber' alone time before the baby comes. We went to the mall and got lunch yesterday. I'm able to talk to my daughter without constant interruptions from my little man. Sometimes, it's hard for Amber to get a word in. She's getting so big and growing and changing so fast, I don't want to miss it because I'm too busy with the little ones, and take for granted that she is big and self sufficient. I don't think this could have happened at a better time. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week with her.

I know I'm not saying much in my final stretch of pregnancy, but the fact is, there's nothing much to say. She's not here, and she will come when it is time. I can't change that, or speed it up. nor do I want to. Nature will take it's course, and soon enough we will all get to see, hold, and love this long awaited baby. That's all I can say about Little Miss Bella.

The Boss

2010-03-10T21:35:00.002-05:00

No, not Bruce. Never been a big fan.

My kids. They are both bossy. It's in the genes. My father owned his own business, he was a boss. Big Al and Alex both own their own business. Bosses.

Alex and Amber had the same 3 year old preschool teachers. I asked them if they thought they were similar in that 'bossy' way. They said absolutely, except Alex is more organized. Probably a little OCD. Again, in the genes.

When either one of my kids are playing role play with other children, they are always the leader/boss. They never submit to being anything else. Recently, I saw Amber standing up, with a group of kids sitting down around her, following her lead. If it's school, she's the teacher. If it's role play, she's the queen, and everyone else is under her. If Alex is playing in the kitchen, he is the chef. He calls the shots, including how the kitchen is kept. He's the police man, and others are the bad guys. He is the firefighter, and he will rescue you. His teachers say he will re-word things just so he can believe in his mind that it was his idea. Today on the way home he told me his friends were aggravating him because they weren't listening to him. When I told him he's not their father, their teacher or their boss and they don't have to listen to him, he said.....But Mom, I am the boss of some things.

I know some people frown on this, but I like it. I am hoping as they get older and they grow, their boss like tendencies become leadership tendencies. I am also aware that their is a fine line between being bossy, and being a bully. I don't think they deliberately seek out submissive people so that they can control them, I think that they take control, and most of the time, they get away with it. I would love to know how to help them channel these traits properly as they get older, but I definitely think it's a good thing. Better a leader than a follower, for sure.

Living at the studio

2010-03-09T21:52:00.004-05:00

I knew when Amber wanted to go to this particular dance studio to dance with my niece and the rest of the girls that danced there, that I was making the commitment to get her to the university area every Tuesday. Not a huge sacrifice considering that we now get to eat dinner and spend time with my sister and her family, and my mother once a week. Alex gets to hang out with little Joe, and Tuesday has become his favorite day. Now that we are nearing our first competition, Tuesday has become Saturday, Monday, Tuesday....and whatever else may be necessary. At any other time in my life-so be it. My daughter loves what she is doing, and loves to be a part of a team, and all parents do these things for their kids. I have to say though it's rough at 9 months pregnant. A 2 hour rehearsal easily becomes a 3 1/2 our rehearsal with the drive. I'm old. I'm cranky. I'm tired. I don't want to pass this off on family or friends because I really want to enjoy this season of Amber's life with her, but there are definitely times that I would much rather lay down and take a nap. We are so excited for this performance on Saturday. I think Amber is going to do great! Her confidence on the stage is growing, and she is so happy to be a part of this team, which makes it all worth it. I am so proud of her. She is so beautiful.

I can't wait....

2010-03-04T20:50:00.003-05:00

I can't wait to meet my daughter. My husband and I are very different in skin tone, eye color and features, so the suspense is killing me!

I can't wait to wear pants with a zipper.

I can't wait to stop playing the waiting game. I am working 15 hours a week, and frankly, I'm bored to death. I know I won't be bored once Bella comes.

I can't wait to see Amber's first competition on Saturday the 13th. Hopefully!

I can't wait to watch my son start flag football on the 20th. Hopefully!

I can't wait to NOT be pregnant! I don't like it!

I can't wait to be flooded with visitors at the hospital to meet my new baby girl. (hint hint)

I can't wait to see Bella in lots of Amber's baby clothes that I saved.

I can't wait to start working out regularly, and I'm actually looking forward to giving up all the junk I have been eating!

I can't wait to see my husband with his first baby girl.

I can't wait for the smell of 'baby'.

I can't wait for our first family vacation to the beach in July.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for our future.

Bella's Place

2010-03-01T22:22:00.007-05:00

This is Bella's Place. Robert and I are so happy with the way it turned out.

For some time we were racking our brains...where will we put Bella? What will we do with this baby? We have to move! We have to move now! So the plan was to move in May. Then I kept hearing in my head.."Work with what you've got. Don't long for something more, or better, or bigger, make the best of what you have." I thought to myself, if we move in May, that will be probably a month or so of packing, moving, and unpacking. All so a child that can fit in my arm could have her own room. It sounds foolish as I write it. To miss a whole month of her infant life being distracted by boxes and paint and disarray.....for what? So I can feel better about the fact that this little peanut would have a 'nursery'? Nah. Never mind. The plans got squashed. We will move when the time is right for our entire family. Not so we can say....look at our new place that's a perfect size for all of us. That's not what matters. So we decided to make a beautiful space in our room for Bella. I Painted the wall, and Robert put up all of the wall art.

The bassinet you see, I put my first born child in to sleep every night almost 12 years ago. Then my sister put her now 10 year old baby girl in it every night to sleep as well. Now it's Bella's turn. She will come home in the same hand knit sweater that Amber came home in from the hospital back in May of 1998. Those are the things that are important. Those are the memories that we would like to make for our daughter. Not to mention, it came out absolutely beautiful!

The Pizza Prayer

2010-02-27T18:36:00.008-05:00

Thank You Lord, for authentic Pizza.
Thank you Lord for strategically placing it within my reach.
Thank you Lord for pizza that is bigger than bite size, doesn't have cheese in the crust, and is made by a guy named 'Howie', or served at the same place that they serve Burritos.

Thank you for a little touch of home on the box.

Thank you for an 8 slice 'pie', and when I order a pie, they know I mean pizza.
Thank you for Sicilian pizza, especially the 'grandma' Sicilian pizza. My favorite.

Thank you for dough stuffed full of cheese, otherwise known as a calzone. Not a pizzone, a calzone. Oh how I love globs of hot melted cheese.

Thank you Lord for Brooklyn Pizza on the corner of Colony and Rea road.

P.S. Please forgive those who dip their pizza in garlic dip, or any dip, but the biggest sin of all...ranch dressing.

Handy Dandy Notebook

2010-02-24T22:37:00.007-05:00

My son wants a Handy Dandy Notebook. He likes Blue's Clues, and he pretends with a regular spiral notebook. So I decide to open my big mouth, and tell him that Amber had a real one when she was little, and that I would get him one. I clearly remember paying $5.99 for Amber's. It has laminated pages that can be wiped off, the crayon....I mean, you can see it below. I went online to order 2 of them so he wouldn't have to carry it from house to house. Do you know how much they want for them now? $29.99. Yes. Twenty Nine Dollars And Ninety Nine Cents. WHATTHA!!!!! Even on ebay, the bidding starts at $23.00. What happened? Even the book that the newer guy uses is just as expensive. I'm baffled by this. I didn't order even one, obviously. That's just insanity. Would you pay $29.99 for this?

Shower #3

2010-02-21T22:07:00.002-05:00

Shower #3. Wow. My sister out did herself once again. Everything was amazing. This was my family shower. Everyone isn't technically family, but they are all my family as far as I'm concerned. They have been with me through the good times, and the bad. They know me best. They know how much my marriage and this baby means to me. So as fancy and as beautiful and as amazing this shower was, the most important part was who I shared it with. My entourage. I couldn't pick a few photos, so enjoy the slide show. Thank you Marie. Hats off to you, once again for yet another amazing party. I know you love making memories in your home.

Shower #2

2010-02-16T22:39:00.007-05:00

Last night, my friends from work had a shower for me. We had so much fun. Again, everything was beautiful! We did a few fun activities, and got to sit and chat about things other than work. Bella once again got so many beautiful presents. We are so lucky to have so many people that love us! The food was great. Pigs in blankets, shrimp cocktail, Swedish meatballs, spinach dip, fondue with fruits and cake....I went home stuffed for sure. One of the activities was that she froze a pacifier, and everyone had to guess what time it would drop. No one won that one....it dropped much later than everyone anticipated.

This was so much fun. Everyone got to decorate a onesie for Bella. They are too cute. Creative, and funny...for sure.

Everyone got to cut a piece of yarn, that they thought would fit perfectly around my belly.

Some were waaaaay off....

And some were just right!

What an awesome night with friends. This pregnancy has been amazing in so many ways. And yes, I know the dress isn't exactly flattering, but I am beyond wearing anything that squeezes my waist or falls down constantly. It is what it is, and it's pretty big.

Shower #1

2010-02-10T21:03:00.007-05:00

Speechless. When my co-teacher Erin told me she was going to have a baby shower for me at school, I never imagined or expected it to be so beautiful. It was in the parlor of the church. Everything was set up so nicely, the food was delicious, and the company was great, as always. Bella got some really awesome gifts. Having a girl is so much fun! I kind of ruined the pictures of opening the presents, because I held everything in front of my face. (duh). But here are some pics of the afternoon. Again, I'm so grateful and humbled by all of the effort and generosity that went into this shower. I am so blessed to know these ladies!