One Day....

One day I want exercise to be part of my lifestyle, and not a chore.

One day I want to stop wanting for "things" and be happy with what I have and how far I've come.

One day I want to see my children in marital bliss.

One day I want to see my father again.

One day I want to hear from God so clearly.

One day I want to be a wife.

One day I want one more baby.

One day I want my children to ooze self-confidence.

One day I want to get a grip on my temper, and squash it for good.

One day I want to live a life that pleases God.

One day I want to be 100% content with my appearance.

One day I want to stop swearing.

One day I want my mother to stop smoking.

One day I want to print and bind this blog, but I have no idea how.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Jets vs. Giants = Daddy vs. Papa

Regardless, he ROCKS it....

I Miss You...Gas

Dear Gas,

I miss you terribly. I have been fighting tooth and nail to get to you. I'm running on "E". It seems that every time I get close to you, you suddenly disappear. I waited 30 minutes for you tonight, only to find out that when I was almost in arms reach, you disappeared, once again. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this. My hopes are up...and then their down. I'm realizing how much I CAN'T do without you. I really need you right now. Please stop all of this nonsense, and lets reunite as quickly as possible. I'm dyin' ova hea.

Anxiously awaiting your return,

Colleen

Melt Down

I was on the phone with a certain "Windy" type company...not mentioning any names...because my computer was down....FOR THREE HOURS. I was hung up on, I was transferred and disconnected I was given wrong information, I was directed to the wrong places. All I wanted was for them to send a tech out. I am not computer savvy, and trying to be is not good for my mental health. I'm a mad clicker....I'm a re-starter.....I'm a smack the keyboard-er...... I felt curse words on the tips of my lips in hour number one, never mind the thoughts I had to ask for forgiveness for by hour three. I told the person on the phone that I was so aggravated, I was going to throw up my breakfast. When the forth person tried to get me started with trouble shooting, I said.."I AM NOT TROUBLE SHOOTING AGAIN. I WANT A TECH TO COME HERE. IS THERE ANYONE THAT CAN HELP ME PLEASE????? I need a supervisor. I was 4 seconds away for asking for someone that I could actually understand what they were saying, but in my mind I wasn't going to say it that nicely. I lost it. I told one of the 4 people I spoke to...."I'm so frustrated, I'm getting ready to FLIP OUT." By the time I got done with this whole ordeal, I was thoroughly fired up and disgusted. I smashed the phone on the furniture the 80th time I was put on hold. My temper was flared to the max today. First the electronics themselves set me off, then the partial English speaking thing ( I don't care where you're from, but if your job is customer service over the phone, I need to able to understand the words that are coming out of your mouth), then the call after call......does anyone else see red over these types of things? I know I have a bad temper, but please show me some love that this stuff can drive anyone crazy?

Lunch Time Conversation

Driving a Stick

Why on earth would anyone willingly buy a stick shift automobile? I know I know....for racing purposes, but on the track is fine. Why would anyone purposely buy one as their everyday vehicle? Can I drive one? Yes. I believe you should learn how to drive everything and anything you have access to, just in case you need to in a pinch one day. Here are the motorized means of transportation that I have driven, and can drive:

Automatic
Standard shift
small boat
Sea-doo
quad
scooter(remember those?)

That may be it. My sister is laughing right now about the small boats that we drove in Cancun-right Re-Re? But the stick.....getting out of first as someone that is new to the shift......"Please don't let me stall or buck this car like it has pimpin' hydraulics on it.....Please don't let me roll backwards and hit into the person behind me.....am I in 3rd, or 5th gear? If I take my foot of the clutch before I come to a full stop, the car will abruptly come to a slamming stop.." I mean, that's enough to give you a nervous brake down just trying to drive! Then if your short like me, it take all of your effort to get the clutch all the way down, unless you want to sit so close that your eating the steering wheel. It just puzzles me. Maybe it's a guy thing, but I can think of 2 girls that always preferred the stick shift. Not me. If I could afford a driver, I would just sit in the back, and turn up the tunes. Never mind all of that hard work.

We Brawled, We Battled, She Won

It took a few tries to get her to allow me to share this one....Amber had a blemish on her chin. You needed a magnifying glass to see it, but to her, it was a small crater. So, of course, being the rotten mother I am, I grabbed the camera, and chased her around the house. I finally caught up with her in her room. I really did put up a good fight. I am 100% confident that my daughter can give a grown man a beat down. I couldn't get a picture of it. But here is a visual of the chain of events. (P.S.-my daughter is beautiful, and I tell her that all the time. Inside and out. So please don't think I am just an evil mother. We play around all of the time.)
Here is pic #1. I wanted the real deal...and the brawl begins.......

She had such a grip on that chin, I couldn't cut her hand loose!

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so here she is, biting my finger!!!

Yes, that is my hand, tugging on her hair...still....no picture....

This was the end result of our battle. She won. I lost. I never got the picture. She put up a great fight, and came out victorious.

Courtyard Lunch

As a fifth grader, you get to participate in this awesome thing called Courtyard lunch. Every Friday, the entire fifth grade gets to eat out in the courtyard...mingle...run around....no teachers...just volunteer Mommy's. This Friday is my Friday. I am so excited to eat outside with Amber, and watch her interact with her friends. Courtyard lunch is a privilege, and it is earned. No turned cards, no homework consequences, you need a "clean record" in order to attend, or you have to stay in the lunch room. GUESS WHAT? This week of all weeks, Amber got a homework consequence. She didn't have me sign her reading record. I don't know how to word that correctly, because I'm not sure if that is my fault, or hers. Probably both. Either way, she does not get to go to courtyard lunch this week. BUT I DO. I can't cancel just because she can't go. So now what? I sit alone outside, like an un-cool kid....in exile, and watch over all of her friends while she sits inside. I will be "Ronald Miller" for what will probably be the longest 25 minutes of my day. This will be my first lunch visit this year too. Unbelievable.

Small Group-Day 1

Tonight was the first night of my very first Small Group with my awesome church. I should have been in a small group a long time ago, but I always had excuses. "I don't have the time.", "I don't have a sitter." "I have to work."The real truth is, I didn't want to go to a strange place, with strange people, and expose my less than glamorous life. I do this constantly, and I needed to break the cycle. I actually gave up a night of work which I can't afford, to join a small group. I am confident that God is proud of my decision, and He will continue to make sure our needs are met. I feel this is key to my spiritual success. So here I am, a member of a small group. A group of ladies with all different walks of life, with a broad age range, and all different spiritual backgrounds. We just got to know each other a little, how we came to Elevation, We ate, we laughed, we did short bio's....I loved it. It wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I anticipated. As a matter of fact, it was quite comfy. Out of all of the ladies, I have been attending Elevation the longest! Get this...one girl was a first time guest on Sunday, and one other girl HASN'T EVEN ATTENDED SERVICE YET!!! She went to the meet and greet Sunday night with a friend, and said she was so moved by Pastor Steven , she walked out of the meeting and plugged into small group! Isn't that amazing! The original table I walked up to was at full capacity. This was all Gods plan. He wanted me to be in a group with these particular lovely ladies. I believe we will grow together spiritually, and I hope to make long lasting friendships. I can't wait!

Here we go again...

My car. It has been acting up lately. Sometimes it starts, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it takes several turns of the key, and sometimes it takes a jump. I do have one of those jumper box thingies so I don't have to ask anyone for help. Nothing sexier than seeing a woman, with her children in the car, with the hood up, connecting the battery charger, and jumping her own car. That's glamour for you. Sunday, I had to leave my car at church and walk home because I didn't feel like dealing with it in a white dress. I have had to buy a new battery, and a new starter, AND new tires within this past year, and that's enough car maintenance for me. If you don't recall the starter story, you can read about it here. It was quite an experience. I dropped my truck of this morning after I got stuck at Walmart last night, and couldn't get the thing started. Even with the box. At 10:30 at night. And I don't like strangers. I checked back to that post I just mentioned, and I saw that I purchased the starter less than a year ago, so I called Goodyear. The warranty is either 1 year, or 12,000 miles. I just spoke to them, and it is the starter. And I am about 500 miles away from the expiration of the warranty! YYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I get a WOOP WOOP? If I recall correctly, that cost me close to $500.00. I usually put things off until the last moment. I'm so glad I decided to get this looked at now. I would have been so mad at myself if I had waited. I also would have been riding a bicycle around because I am not in the position to be able to drop $500.00 on anything. I'm so excited and thankful, and relieved. I prayed specific prayers about this all morning. They were answered!

Self Sufficient/Not so Self Sufficient

Here is my son, being domesticated. He asks me to lower the ironing board, get him some clothes, and set him up with my old iron. Unplugged, of course. He will do this for 1/2 hour straight!

Here he is vaccuuming. He loves to vaccuum. Okay, he wasn't actually vaccuuming, he was "blowing leaves", but either way, he was doing constructive work around the house. He was blowing my room-how sweet of him!

Now here's my daughter. Her only job was to put more food in the bird feeder. We get some really beautiful birds out there, and the kids love to watch them through the window. She got her hair all twisted up in the lights, and there was more bird seed on the floor than there was in the feeder when she was done. Shouldn't my older child be the self sufficient one? Needless to say she wasn't happy when I walked away from her and shut the door behind me and left her there. Then when she saw the camera....well...you can see by the last photo that she was not a happy camper.

Sunday Night Devotional

Blog-Worthy Reading

Stop what you are doing for 5 minutes, and read this post. This woman is an unbelievable writer, telling an unbelievable story.

Insane Memory Lane part 2

Okay, your already laughing-right? When I was in high school, this car, and all other alike, were the IT cars. Guido goodness-I know. There was actually a back row in the parking lot of my high school where everyone that had a car like this would back it in, and it was literally called "Guido Row". Most of them had some type of "Freestyle" music saying across the top of their windshield too. I'm dyin' laughing right now....."Fantasy Girl", "Fantasy Boy", "Hypnotic", "I'll House You", these are titles of freestyle songs from back in the day.....you know.....or do you? Maybe you don't, but it is what it is. Anyway, 2 of my friends had these cars. One was an IROC convertible, and one was this car pictured here, but it was black. My very bestest friend Joanne aka "JoJo". She used to drive me home from school everyday. I didn't have a cool car, as a matter of fact, I didn't have a car at all! Now...the insanity begins.......

I get out of the car in front of my house on a cool fall day. I remember wearing an over sized orange sweater(eeewww), and some jeans. It was a Friday night, and we had a $3.00 party that night. That's when you pay three dollars to stand in someones back yard because their parents are out of town and they provide unlimited supplies of keg stands. No. I've never done a keg stand. Anyway, we discussed our evening, and out I went. Walking behind the back of the car closely because I lived on a busy street, my sweater got caught on the spoiler. Off she went, and so did I. Did I scream? NOPE. Did I bang on the car? NOPE. I was in shock. My thoughts were..."I'm going to die." "This is it." I started running with the car....why? I have no idea. Eventually my feet went out from under me, and I was dragging on the floor. Eventually my sweater gave out, and I fell to the floor between 1/4 and 1/2 mile down the road. She heard the thump, and finally stopped. I jumped up like a mad woman, and ran to her car. The classic question that we still laugh about to this day..."Did I run you over?" I was laughing so hard and scared and flustered and relieved all at the same time. I tried to tell her what happened, but she wasn't grasping it. I went inside, and just sat on my bed for a while. I was afraid to tell my parents because I figured they would never let me in a car with my friends again. I had road rash on my right leg and arm from my knee down, and from my wrist to my elbow. Still made it to the party. Even wore the sweater so when we told the story, we had a visual.

When I think back about all of these incidents, and I know there is more, I know that God has plans for me, because He could have taken me with Him so long ago several times!

Pure Stupidity

Picture a hot summer day, and a group of teenage friends spending the day at the beach. I would say about 15 kids-guys and girls. The sun is shining, the waves are crashing, a volleyball game to your right, Frisbee playing to the left, and some Metallica/Led Zepplin/Def Leppard/Doors etc. playing on the boom box. Sandwiches and sodas from the deli...I mean, what more can you need. After a fun filled day at the beach, we head home. Somehow, someway, the cars begin to stop at the center of this very bridge. The kids start piling out...
"Hey...wouldn't it be crazy if we jumped?"
"I'm not jumping..your nuts!"
"Oh don't be such a ______."
"Who's going first?" (None of the girls even entertained the idea, this was a discussion between the guys.)
"I'll go.."

And down he went. Brian Fay. It seemed like forever, and then it seemed even longer for him to come out from under the water. As soon as his head popped up, down went Farracco, number 2. Next thing I new, number 3 was on their way down, and it was ME. I got so caught up in the rush of the moment, that I just went for it. What the heck was I thinking? The drop your wondering? 22 feet. The swim to shore you ask? 88 feet. Heading in the OPPOSITE direction of the current that is. Now that I'm all grown up, I would NEVER do something so stupid. We all almost drowned that day. We were battling crabs, and seaweed, and the current, and we were fatigued and exhausted after what felt like the million year swim back to the shore. I was trying to swim forward, but yet I was traveling sideways. Brian finally piggybacked me to the shore. Pure stupidity. I pray my children never do something as stupid as this. Something I would never do again. If you want to be a dare devil, do it in a controlled area. Para sail. I've done that, and it's fun, and safe...er....I would think. Now that I'm a parent, I look at it like this:

They had no idea I was doing this. What if I had gotten hurt, or worse, and they got a phone call or a knock on the door that day. Over what? Jumping off some stupid bridge for 30 seconds of thrills, and a swim that could have been my last. Again, pure stupidity.

Yes, that is the actually bridge. Smith's Point Bridge, Long Island, New York.

Oh How She's Grown

When Amber was a toddler, I was tortured incessantly by her love for "The Wiggles".

Fruit Salad...Yummy Yummy.....Fruit Salad...Yummy Yummy.......

I think these guys are freaks, but kids love 'em. So be it. This morning, I had the Disney channel on for Alex while we were getting ready for school, and the Wiggles were on. Of course, Alex pays no attention, and was asking me to put on "wwooaaaaaahhhh....woooooaaaaahhhhhhh". In case you don't know, that translates to "Your Name High" by Hillsong. But I mean, you so should have known that. I mean...Duh. ;0)....Anyway, Amber walks in the room, and looks at the T.V. for a few minutes.

"Mom, why would anyone want to do this? Be a Wiggle? I mean, they must not have like a REAL job."

She obviously has no idea how much money can be made by doing cheesy dances, and coming up with lyrics like:

Cold Spaghetti Cold Spaghetti.....Mash Banana Mash Banana........

Random facts about me....

1. I have worn glasses since the tender age of 2.

2. I had to get stitches in my face several times as a child because I thought I could "fly".

3. In addition to that fact, I had to be tied to the table for the stitches during my enraged fits because I can not stand being held down.

4. All of my siblings road horses very well, but I was so afraid of the animal, that I never got the hang of it.

5. I was a stat for my high school football team, and got trampled on the field once.

6. I always take my socks off in my bed. Sometimes there are a few pairs in there. I know-GROSS.

7. I was voted class clown in a graduating class of 1300 kids.

8. I didn't morf into a good looking woman until the age of 25. I had to bring my friends brother to my prom.

9. My hair has been so many colors, that's I'm not sure what my natural color is, but I do know it has some gray "highlights".

10. I am obsessed with Febreeze, Lysol, and incense.

11. I love to bite as a sign of affection. My nephew Joseph isn't "warm & fuzzy" about me biting his ears.

12. I have a very hard time relaxing at home. There is always something that needs to be done.

13. I am a music junky. I have been to tons and tons of concerts from G&R and Metallica to Madonna and Janet Jackson.

14. I have no interest in updating my cell phone. As long as it makes a phone call, I couldn't care less what it looks like, or if it has "special features".

15. I am not a breakfast lover. I can eat a cheeseburger at 8:30am.

16. I have the same shower routine every single day, and I NEVER ever do anything out of order.

17. I Like Ezekiel bread. I know, I know.....I got issues. I can't believe I just admitted that.

18. I have most of my clothes for 5+ years. Jeans, dress clothes...I go for the "timeless" look. I am just thankful I still fit in them.

19. If the phone isn't right near me, I don't run to answer it. My family HATES this.

20. I have a crush on David Beckham and Grissom from CSI. Oh...and Rob Thomas too.

Stripped down

I have officially been pruned to death. Here's what I have left:

My children and family.

An unemployment check.

Most importantly, God.

I am broke, I am single, I am seeking direction in every aspect. My new motto is:

Fresh Fruit for the Fall Season.

Which Way to Go.....

Ever feel the pain of the crossroads? Regardless of which way you go, it's all bitter-sweet. There's always something to lose. Even if that something isn't what God wants for you, even if it's not really your hearts desire, the sting of change still gets ya...no matter what. I feel like God is pruning the heck out of me, and frankly, I feel that he's trying to strip me down to nothing, and wanting to give me a fresh start. A clean slate. Maybe that's what I need. A new start. In every aspect. Maybe it's time to stop trying to "make things happen", and hand over the reigns. Stop trying to go after what I think I want, and just seek His guidance. Maybe then and only then will I receive the peace and stability that I am longing for. The feeling of thinking your making progress, only to slam into a brick wall is exhausting. Sometimes victorious moments are just that...moments. Not life changing events. But we still need to be thankful for them.

On a lighter note, the tattoo itch is getting stronger and stronger, and my inner voice that was saying..."Your starting to look like a biker woman, and when your old and wrinkly all of these tattoos are going to look awful" is fading out into the abyss. The area between my neck and mid-back is screaming out..."INK ME!! INK ME PLEASE!!!" Or is that the devil in disguise? I'm not sure. All I know is that the decision is going to be made soon. I'm curious to see which inner voice wins the war.

A Master Piece in the Making

I have vaulted ceilings in my living room, and I am ashamed to say after living here for over 2 years, the walls are still bare. Reason being, is because I haven't had any inspiration on how I want to decorate this room. Yes, I could have just got some decor to hold me over, but I thought that would be a waste of money, and I was waiting for something to "jump out" at me that I would fall in love with. Well...not happenin'. So I finally decided that on the wall behind my sofa, I would cover it from top to bottom with Sepia toned photos of everyone that I love. I started ordering photos little by little, and nothing will get hung up until I have enough photos to make a dent in a very huge wall. Not to mention it will take me time to be able to afford all of these frames. In the long run, it is probably a project that will cost me a lot more than some over-sized wall art, but the moments captured and the stories behind the photos will be PRICELESS.